TUESDAY TAP: prayer tapping on remorse

Have mercy on me, O God,

   according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion

   blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity

   and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,

   and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned

   and done what is evil in your sight;

so you are right in your verdict

   and justified when you judge

King David had raped Bathsheba and was planning to kill her husband. He had a lot to be sorry about. Personally, I think he was a bit delusional in thinking that the only sin he committed was against God. David used his power and authority to have sex with Bathsheba; manipulated a scene of war in order to destroy the love of her life; and claimed Bathsheba as a prize. It seems to me that David had a LOT to be sorry for.

Feeling remorseful toward God was a start, perhaps with some healing he would be able to see other aspects of the terrible things he did to Bathseba and her family.

Hopefully you haven’t gotten yourself in as deep a mess, but even if you have, it’s important to remember that God is still with you.  The combination of sorrow and guilt can really gnaw on a person.

But back to David and God. Note how despite the egregious nature of David’s sin (yeah, that’s the word for it) he believed that there was hope for him. He believed that somehow God could right his wrongs. He believed that the Holy would take action so that David could do better in the future and teach others the folly of his ways. David had faith that the love of God was/is bigger and stronger than the things that David did wrong. God could heal David, and in doing so, free him to bring that healing to others...perhaps even to Bathsheba.

I can remember feeling such remorse after missing an important conversation with my kids. I had chosen to do some work on my computer, or go to a meeting, both of which could have waited for a bit. I can remember the dejected look in their eyes. I can remember the love that forgave me, even if it didn’t understand why I didn’t have time when they really needed me. How come I had time for other people? Was the meeting about wallpapering a room in the church building more important than a conversation about how my child had been bullied at school?

My heart still hurts when I think of the many times I’ve made a bad choice. Perhaps you have similar hurts that go with different circumstances. Remorse is a heavy thing to live with, and, it can get in the way of a healthy relationship.

Let’s take a chance that despite the awful things he did to Bathsheba and her husband, David was right about God’s healing love.

Try to identify a particular event  that you are feeling remorseful about. See it. Smell it. Hear it. Taste it. Just for a moment. Just for long enough to get a Subjective Unit of Distress on the event (if you are new to tapping prayer, check out my basic recipe here to learn more about SUDs).  Write down your SUD and when you are ready, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!

Karate chop: Well, I messed up, God. I did something really terrible and now I am filled with remorse. I wish I could go back and do things differently. I wish I hadn’t caused the pain I caused with the actions I took. I feel awful. I feel overwhelmed by the awful and I can’t think of how I can move forward with my life. I need your help. I need your attention on this remorse I am feeling. Even though I am feeling remorse, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I caused someone else a lot of pain and discomfort, and I feel badly about that, I am gently held in the loving arms of God. Even though I feel terrible about what I did, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

Top of head: I am feeling remorseful.

Eyebrow: I feel so sad about what I did to...............

Outer eye: I am guilty of hurting..................

Under eye: I feel terrible about what I did.

Under nose: I really betrayed a trust.

Under lip: My relationship with.......is hurting because of what I did.

Collarbone: I broke..................................

Underarms: I feel awful about hurting.............

Wrists: This heavy feeling of remorse.

Top of head: Even though I am carrying this heavy feeling of remorse, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: Maybe I hurt..........because I was hurting.

Outer eye: Now we’re both hurting and I’m feeling guilty.

Under eye: I guess that didn’t work out the way I hoped it would

Under nose: Now I feel stupid, too.

Under lip: Maybe I thought...........deserved to be hurt.

Collarbone: Maybe..........did deserve to be hurt.

Underarms: I feel deep remorse for what I did to.............Maybe  I was wrong. I feel like I was wrong. If I was right I probably wouldn’t feel such remorse.

Wrists: Even if.............deserved it, I am feeling sad and sorry for what I did.

Top of head: Even if I am feeling sad and sorry for what I did, I am deeply loved and completely held in God’s constant care.

Eyebrow: I wonder how I would feel if...........had done what I did?

Outer eye: I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under eye: …........is deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under nose: I feel good about hurting................

Under lip: I feel terrible about hurting..........

Collarbone: I can see the hurt in......eyes. I can hear the pain in.......’s voice. I can feel my breathing change as I think about what I did to.................

Underarms: God knows where my remorse is blocking me from peace.

Wrists: I have this deep remorse for what I did.

Top of head: Even though I have this deep remorse for what I did, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

And take a deep breath...and thank you God for attending to the remorse that is keeping me from peace. Thank you for sending your spirit to heal the events in my life that keep me from moving forward in healthy ways. Amen.

Try thinking about the event that you felt remorseful about. What is its SUD now?  What new issues or aspects of the event are keeping you from feeling a SUD of 0-2? I believe that David was right about God’s desire to heal us when we mess up...no matter how big the mess! Keep bringing your issues to God until you feel that 0-2 peace. Once you are there, then try thinking about how you can begin to make amends and heal the relationship that has been hard to resolve. God will go with you in that healing, too. Count on it. Better yet, tap on it.

Peace,

todd

THURSDAY THUMP: prayer tapping on grief

32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

35 Jesus wept.

36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” --John 11

Beliefs around death in the first century were as diverse as they are today. Some people believed that when a person died, he or she simply ceased to exist. End of story. Some people believed in a resurrection of the body...or the soul...a continuation of the story in some mysterious form. Some people believed that the dead were reborn into new bodies here on earth. Each belief system created unique philosophical responses to death, but the common thread that still strings these and other beliefs together is, grief.

Grief is our response to the death of someone. The response might be spiritual, or emotional, or physical. It might involve crying, or shutting down, or wailing, or withdrawing. It is often accompanied by sadness, anger, denial, emptiness, wistfulness, relief, guilt...or some combination of the aforementioned. Grief can be pretty clear cut or pretty complicated depending on the circumstances surrounding the death or our relationship with the one who has died.

To that end, prayer tapping on grief is a pretty personal thing. It invites the Holy to attend to some very intimate and labyrinthine issues.

• Perhaps we feel guilty about feeling relieved by someone’s death.
• • Maybe we feel the person deserved to die and we are angry.
• • Maybe the persons death caught us by surprise.
• • Maybe there was violence around the persons death
• • Maybe the person died as a result of an accident or war.

• The person might have committed suicide and we are left with a lot of questions and a lot of feelings that are all overwhelming our system at the same time.

• We might cry out like the sisters of Lazarus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

The good news is, God is here with us in our grief. Jesus weeps for the pain and confusion we are experiencing, and more, He is willing and able to attend to our hurting places by way of the Holy Spirit.

If you are grieving today, take a moment to write down the unique feelings you are experiencing around your loss.

Look at the list, and try assigning a SUD from 0-10 to each feeling, depending on how strongly you are enduring that feeling. If you are new to tapping prayer, check out my basic recipe here before proceeding.

Choose one feeling that is bothering you. You may want to choose something with a low number to begin with or, you may want to dive into the deep end of the pool and get right to the tough stuff. God will be there to attend to your concerns in any order you choose to focus the Holy’s healing love. Do what feels safest to you.

Once you have chosen a feeling around your grief, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!

Karate chop: My heart is heavy with grief, God. My soul is overwhelmed with feelings that are associated with...............’s death. I am overwhelmed with feelings about..................’s death. I’m going to try and focus on one feeling now, and when I am at peace with it, I may come to you again with another feeling about …............’s death. I may not. I’ve got a lot happening in me right now. I don’t know which way to turn, but I find myself turning to this tapping prayer today, and so I ask that you would bring me some healing through it. Even though I am feeling..............around my loss, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I feel............around..............death, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God. Even though I have this...........response to ….............death, I am held in God’s constant love and acceptance.

Top of head: I have this...........feeling.

Eyebrow: I am so.............about............death.

Outer eye: I feel............

Under eye: I have this overwhelming sense of..............

Under nose: I can’t shake this feeling of..................

Under lip: This deep …..........

Collarbone: I feel..............

Underarms: I am...............

Wrists: This …......feeling is keeping me from peace.

Top of head: Even though I feel.........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: I wonder if I’ll always feel this..... grief?

Outer eye: I think I can feel this........in my body.

Under eye: This overwhelming...........is getting in the way of feeling peace.

Under nose: I might have unfinished business with........that is contributing to this feeling of .............

Under lip: Even if I have unfinished business with..... that is contributing to this feeling of ...........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Collarbone: I am experiencing a SUD of …..around this aspect of my grief.

Wrists: I have so much grief effecting my life.

Top of head: Even though I have all this...........grief, I am deeply loved and held in God’s tender care.

Eyebrow: ..(name of person who died)..is deeply loved and held in God’s tender care.

Outer eye: Maybe I can forgive myself for feeling.......about..........’s death.

Under eye: Maybe I can forgive anyone who may have contributed to...........’s death.

Under nose: Even if I can forgive myself and everyone else who may have contributed to.......death, and even if I can forgive.........for dying, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under lip: Maybe I don’t have to hold onto this...........grief forever.

Collarbone: I have this...............grief in my soul.

Wrists: I am feeling..........about …......death.

Top of head: Even though I am feeling.......about........death, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

and take a deep breath...Thank you God for being with me in my feelings around..........’s death. Thank you for sending your healing spirit to attend to my needs. Amen.

When you are ready, test your intensity around the feeling you were asking help for. What is the SUD associated with it now? Higher? Lower? Same? Where has God brought you new insights into your feelings about.....’s death? If your SUD is lower, you are beginning to heal with God’s help. Keep prayer tapping on the issue until it gets to a 0-2, and then move on to another feeling on your list. If your SUD went up, check to see if the issue you began with might be gone, and you have moved to a more intense feeling. If so, apply the prayer to that issue until your SUD goes down to a 0-2. If your SUD stayed the same, drink a glass of water and then try the prayer again. Sometimes if we are dehydrated, our awareness of God’s spirit is diminished.

If it would be helpful to use this prayer one on one, please contact me at tapping.into.prayer.now@gmail.com and we can set up a time to work on your grief, together.

Peace,

Todd

THURSDAY THUMP: prayer tapping on anger

23 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24 You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

25 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs,which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. --Matthew 23

Jesus was ripping mad. His frustration with the Pharisees had reached a tipping point and he was tired of playing Mr. Nice Guy. Mr. All in Control. Mr. I’ll never take out a whip and upset a marketplace set up in the Temple. 

Jesus was angry. The chemicals were rushing through his brain, his heart rate increased, his fight or flight impulse was activated in the amygdala portion of his brain. He was ready to fight these self righteous Pharisees on behalf of God, on behalf of the people who were suffering under the hypocritical laws and practices of the established religion.

Been there, done that. Felt that surge. My face getting hot red with derision. Mouth dry...or salivating all over the place like a rabid dog. The veins in my neck start to surface. Fists clench. Sometimes I’ve gotten angry over something noble like an injustice that I’ve witnessed or experienced. Sometimes I’ve gone ballistic over being cut off in traffic or being served the wrong order at Taco Bell. I have been known to explode when I witness an injustice in court or on the sidelines of a pee wee soccer game. I get all riled up and then perseverate on the anger I’m feeling. I hold onto it and nurture it and share it with anyone who will listen to me rant. I’VE BEEN WRONGED! SOMEONE I CARE ABOUT WAS GIVEN A RAW DEAL! RAWWWWWWWR! (insert your image of me doing a Hulk impersonation here).

It’s not pretty.

Maybe you’ve been there, too.

The hard thing is when I can’t let go of the anger. When it get’s into my blood and keeps on boiling long after the triggering incident has passed. I’m grateful for tapping prayer, because if I can think to use it, I discover that God can ease my angst and replace it with peace.

If you are still stewing on something that has made you mad, please join me in a round of tapping prayer. If you are new to prayer tapping, you can check out my basic recipe here.

Because anger involves the amygdala, it is likely that whatever has us upset right now, has gotten us upset in the past. Perhaps the same situation. Perhaps a similar event. The amygdala is like an early warning system in our brain and it alerts us to feel certain things based on previous experiences and patterns of experiences.

Try and identify something that has your blood boiling right now. Before bringing that issue to God, try and remember an incident from your childhood that had you feeling a similar way. Once you have that incident in mind, give it a SUD (see basic recipe) on a scale from 0-10 and write that number down on a piece of paper. There is such a wide variety of things that can get our goat, so let’s call the incident that you have identified, THE PURPLE. Naming our anger after an abstract symbol (such as a color or shape) serves 2 purposes. 1. It gives us a little distance from something that may feel overwhelming or frightening to us. 2 It gives us a common language to use when offering up our prayer.

When you are ready to pray, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!

Karate chop: Dear God, I am mad! Angry! Ripped!. Something Purple has happened and I’m beside myself with rage. It’s hard to think of anything else. I keep going back to why the Purple happened. Why it made me feel so ticked off. Why I can’t let it go. It’s kind of exhausting, and at least around this Purple, I am ready for you to bring me some peace. Even though I have this Purple anger, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though this Purple makes me feel angry, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I have all this Purple pulsing through my veins (and my amygdala!) I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Top of head: I have this Purple anger.

Eyebrow: This Purple is so strong.

Outer eye: I feel overwhelmed by this Purple.

Under eye: This Purple feeling is out of control

Under nose: I don’t like feeling out of control

Under lip: This Purple is kind of scary.

Collarbone: I have all this powerful Purple

Underarms: This Purple is painful

Wrists: I don't deserve all this Purple.

Top of head: Even though I have a lot of Purple, I am deeply loved and God completely accepts me.

Eyebrow: I wonder when I learned to be afraid of the Purple?

Outer eye: Maybe the Purple wasn’t safe

Under eye: Perhaps I was told not to express my feelings about the Purple or I would face terrible consequences.

Under lip: I might have been punished for feeling Purple

Collarbone: Even though I was punished for feeling Purple, I am deeply loved and completely cared for by God.

Underarms: All this shame filled Purple...

Wrists: The Purple is everywhere. Maybe I deserved it.

Top of Head: Even though there is Purple everywhere I look, and even if I deserved it, I am completely cared for and accepted by God.

Eyebrow: Maybe Purple is nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe people just feel Purple when something like this happens. Perhaps the Purple is just another feeling that can come and go like waves on a shore

Outer eye: This Purple is crashing down on me

Under eye: I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God as I try and catch my breath

Under nose: This rage filled Purple

Under lip: This Purple that is just another feeling

Collarbone: My Purple is boiling over. I can’t contain it.

Underarms: Maybe God can contain it. God is, after all, pretty big.

Wrists: I can consider forgiving myself or anyone else who contributed to this awful Purple.

Top of Head: Even though I have this angry Purple, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

And take a deep breath...Thank you God for being with my Purple in this prayer. Thank you for sending your healing spirit to attend to the Purple that has been keeping me from feeling peace. Amen.

When you are ready, take note of the Purple anger and check the power it is still holding. On a scale of 0-10, how strong is your Purple? If the number is not down to a 0-2, what issues are keeping it at a higher number? Did new issues around the Purple become more prevalent? If so, try writing them down and bringing them to God with more specific language.

The lessons we learned about Purple kinds of events when we were children often inform how we experience Purple as adults. God has been along for the whole of our journey, so trust that the Holy is capable of getting back to the beginning of our anger and healing us up into the present. If the whole Hulk thing is starting to wear thin for you, try prayer tapping on the many shades of Purple that might be turning you green.

Peace,

todd

PS. Check out next week’s TUESDAY TAP: prayer tapping on grief.

TUESDAY TAP: prayer tapping on pain

9 Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez,[c] saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” 10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.--1Chronicles 4

The Bible has a complex relationship with pain. From the early writings in Genesis 3 which cite God as sending pain upon Adam and Eve for disobeying the Holy, to Jesus healing anyone who was within his reach...and a few that were beyond his reach. The early faith community believed that God was the cause of everything that happened to us. If we were happy and healthy, that was God smiling on us. If were sad and in pain, that was God showing displeasure to us. It made God a bit of a tyrant to work for, but a lot of people bought it. A LOT OF PEOPLE.

A few people wondered if maybe God wasn’t about the pain part of life. Perhaps God was in the healing from pain that came from other sources. The environment. Accidents. Other people. Our own choices. For those people, God was/is loving and caring and aware of our hurting. God is a witness to what has happened to us from the very beginning, and God is always eager to help us go back and clean up the messes we find ourselves in.

I’ll be honest. I’m in the second camp when it comes to pain, and as someone who has found great relief from tapping prayer, I was hopeful that prayer tapping would alleviate  some of the suffering I see in the world around me.

Now, to be doubly honest, I didn’t really believe that tapping prayer could bring about this cure. I doubted. I hedged. I put a limit on God working on this particular issue.

Fortunately, for me and those who have since experienced the benefits of prayer tapping on pain, I try to practice what I preach. It really bugged me that I couldn’t minister around pain, and I was doing some prayer tapping on “doubt” when I asked God to help me with this issue. I was praying:

Top of head: This doubt.

Eyebrow: This limiting belief.

Outer eye: It could never be true.

Under eye: It couldn’t happen.

Under nose: I have this doubt.

Under lip: I have this inability to believe this...

Collarbone: I’ve gotta see it to believe it.

Underarm: I need evidence.

Wrists: I have evidence that my disbelief is holding me back.

Top of head: I have evidence that I am not as peaceful as I’d like to be.

Eyebrow: I have this limiting belief.

Outer eye: Maybe I know where it came from.

Under eye: Maybe it is connected to fear.

Under nose: Maybe it is connected to sadness.

Under lip: Maybe it is limiting me like it limited the people who taught it to me.

Collarbone: I have this doubt.

Underarm: I didn’t ask for it.

Wrists: I wonder if I need it?

Top of head: What would happen if I let it go?

And as I tapped on my doubt around healing physical pain, God healed me. I was able to let go of my limiting belief around God working on this issue through tapping prayer. I was willing to give it a try. I felt peace.

The approach to prayer tapping on pain is similar to praying for other issues. If you are new to tapping prayer read my basic recipe by clicking here. When you feel ready and willing to try applying God’s healing love to your pain, continue reading.

First, identify a pain in your body. You may be experiencing pain in many parts of your body, go ahead and make a list of everything that hurts,and then try to focus on one area at a time. Once you have identified an area of pain take a moment to ask yourself: “What emotion is connected to this pain?” Research has shown a strong connection between feelings and pain. Identify that connection for you, as best you can. If you can connect the emotion to an event, all the better. You will be adding specificity to your prayer so that as God goes back to clean up your hurt, you will both be aware of the place the Holy is attending to. The more specific you can be, the more effectively God can target and relieve the problem.

Once you have a person or an emotion connected with the pain, try saying out loud,

“I have this (emotion) (pain).” An example would be: “I have this angry sharp pain in my neck.” or “I have this sad pain in my feet.”  Rate how true or strong that statement is for you on a scale of 0-10. Write that number down. It is called a Subjective Unit of Distress (SUD). You will use this number after you pray to identify how the spirit has moved within you around this issue.

When you are ready to pray, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!

Karate Chop: This is ridiculous, God. I have this........................and I’m calling on you to attend to it by tapping while I pray. I doubt it will work. It doesn’t make sense. I’m going to try it anyway, because quite frankly I’m tired of living with this............................... Even though I have this..................I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I feel..........about my pain, I am wildly loved and extravagantly accepted by God. Even though I’ve been living with this....................for some time, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

Top of Head: I have this.................

Eyebrow: It hurts so much.

Outer eye: It feels like.................and reminds me of..............

Under eye: I have this..............

Under nose: This pain is ongoing and ranks a SUD of …..........

Under lip: This..................

Collarbone: I doubt tapping prayer can help this................

Underarms: I can’t believe God could heal this..................

Wrists: I have all this..................

Top of Head: Even though I have all this...............I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: I consider that God could alleviate some of this................

Outer eye: This …..........makes it difficult to enjoy my life

Under eye: Living with this …............disrupts some of my relationships.

Under nose: I'm afraid that I’ll always have this..............

Under lip: I wonder what life would be like without this...................

Collarbone: I am so tired of living with this.......................

Underarms: But I guess I’m stuck with it.

Wrists: Maybe I’m not stuck with it, and I’m deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Top of head: Maybe God has something different in store for me.

Eyebrow: I wonder if part of me is holding on to this.............because healing would mean I had to do things differently.

Outer eye: I wonder if there are any benefits to living with this.................

Under eye: There are no benefits to living with this................., it stinks!

Under nose: I have this terrible.....................and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Underlip: I don’t have this terrible...............and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Collarbone: I am living with an awful case of..............................

Underarms: Maybe I could forgive myself and anyone else who contributed to me experiencing this................even if I believe it might be God.

Wrists: I have this........................

Top of head: Even though I have this (SUD number) of.................I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Take a deep breath.....and thank you God for moving into that painful place in my body. Thank you for sending your spirit to move me in new directions with love. Amen.

Try saying: “I have this (emotion) (pain).” and check the SUD. Did it move? Up? Down? Are there any new thoughts or feelings that have surfaced around your pain? If the number went down, but is not at a 0-2, try to identify what is keeping it at a higher number. Do you have some belief about your pain that is keeping it from a full blessing and peace? If your SUD went up, try and identify what the new issue is that has the higher number. In either case continue prayer tapping until you experience peace and healing around the pain you have brought before God.

It is important to note that sometimes the pain will move from a 10 to a 6 or a 4. While that is not the 0-2 of complete peace, it is a lot easier to live with than a 10! Give thanks to God for any progress and relief and allow the experience to deepen your relationship with the Holy.

God is here to help you. God wants you to feel whole and at peace. By working alongside of God, we focus our attention and God’s will on the pain that keeps us from these gifts. I believe that God’s hand is with you. God will heal you from harm so that you can be liberated from pain.

Peace,

Todd
Check back for the THURSDAY THUMP: prayer tapping on anger.