THURSDAY THUMP: prayer tapping on family

2 Timothy 1

1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, in keeping with the promise of life that is in Christ Jesus,

2 To Timothy, my dear son:

Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

3 I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. 4 Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. 5 I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.

6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.

Timothy was fortunate. He had a good mother.  A good grandmother. Supportive extended family, including the author of this letter. The author (probably not Paul, but someone who was familiar with the firebrand and his concern for Tim) wrote these encouraging words of faith from prison.Tim was, like the church of his day, going through some hard times, and the scribe wanted Timothy to know that he was not alone. That things would get better. That the love that Tim’s family had told him about, was real!

Not everyone has that kind of system to sustain them. In fact, family can be a source of a lot of pain and distress. Old wounds, still infected by years of reopening and pouring salt on them, can drive us to derision.

--You’ll never amount to anything.

--You’re such a disappointment.

--I knew you couldn’t do it right.

Words like this spoken to a child can set the stage for a lifetime of self defeat, low expectations, and unhealthy relationships.

What if God could heal some of those hurts? What if the Holy could take the sting out, so that instead of reflexively recoiling at the sound of a siblings voice, we could listen to hear if anything had changed? We could watch to see if there was an opportunity for reconciliation? We could calmly respond by not engaging in ways we that we always engaged before?

Tapping prayer offers us a healing alternative to the knee jerk response most of us are conditioned to experience. God’s spirit can give us options that we could never even imagine before.

Before you begin today’s tapping prayer, think back to an incident that happened long ago...something somebody said or did that is still buried deep under your skin. Try and remember an event that still gets your blood boiling when you think of your parent or sibling or cousin or....saying it to you. On a scale of 0-10, how upsetting is that incident when you think of it? Write that number down. It is your Subjective Unit of Distress (SUD) for this family event and you will use it later to see how God’s spirit has moved in you during the time of prayer.

If you are new to tapping prayer, read this basic recipe here and then continue.

Family can affect us in ways that outsiders cannot. Family usually know our buttons. If while you are praying you feel like the issue has suddenly shifted to something more frightening or disturbing, either stop and consult a professional counselor on this issue, or move your prayerful attention toward the new issue and focus God on this new concern.

When you are ready to begin praying, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!

Karate Chop: I know that Sister Sledge sings that We are Family, God, but sometimes I wish the folks I’m related to would go away! They have hurt me with words or deeds, and I am still recovering every time I am in their presence. The event I am remembering in particular is very painful. Just thinking about it registers a SUD of ….... I need your help. I need your healing spirit. Because I know that even though I have this painful event in my past, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though...........hurt me, I am completley loved and deeply held in God’s constant care. Even though I remember............I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Top of head: I have this pain.

Eyebrow: It’s so embarrassing to remember.

Outer eye: I don’t know why.......did that to me.

Under eye: It really hurt me.

Under nose: i can still feel the pain from when.....did......to me.

Under iip: I am hurting.

Collarbone: This pain is getting in the way of my joy.

Wrists: This hurt is keeping me from peace.

Top of head: Even though I have this.......I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: I wonder why........did that to me?

Outer eye: I can consider forgiving.......for hurting me. (Maybe)......didn't understand how they made me feel.

Under eye: I can consider forgiving myself for feeling hurt by what.......did.

Under nose: I was only a child when.....hurt me. I had no power in that relationship.

Under lip: Even though it happened awhile ago, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Collarbone: God can heal my younger self. God can tend to my old wounds. God saw what happened.

Wrists: I am hurting because of what happened.

Top of head: Even though I am hurting because of what happened, i am deeply loved and completely cared for by God.

Eyebrow: I wonder how my relationship with.....might change if I am healed from this pain?

Outer eye: I wonder what boundaries I would need to feel safe in …............’s presence?

Under eye: Even though I don’t feel safe with.....I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God

Under nose: ….....is deeply loved and completely accepted by God, even if God doesn’t condone what.......did to hurt me.

Under lip: Maybe.....needs healing, too.

Collarbone: I feel ashamed of this hurt I am feeling. I feel like maybe it was my fault that.......hurt me. Even though I was hurt as a child, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Wrists: I am hurting because of what......did to me when I was a child.

Top of head: Even though......hurt me, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

And take a deep breath....Thank you God for being with me in my pain. You were there when it first came upon me as a child, and you are here with me now as I seek your assistance in healing from that hurt. Amen.

Check your SUD on the incident you were praying for help with. If the number has gone down, are there any issues that remain which keep you from reaching zero? If so, try bringing those remaining issues to God using the same format for the prayer. If your SUD went higher, note the issues that spiked the SUD and attend to those with prayer. God will be with you in your healing and help you to bring those SUD’s down to a manageable level.

Family often know us at our most vulnerable places. Their words and deeds can lift us to great heights or dash us into rocky pits. Call on the Holy to lift you up when family has let you down. Who knows the kinds of choices you’ll discover when the hurts of the past have experienced God’s love?

Peace,

Todd

THURSDAY THUMP: prayer tapping on anger

23 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24 You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

25 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs,which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. --Matthew 23

Jesus was ripping mad. His frustration with the Pharisees had reached a tipping point and he was tired of playing Mr. Nice Guy. Mr. All in Control. Mr. I’ll never take out a whip and upset a marketplace set up in the Temple. 

Jesus was angry. The chemicals were rushing through his brain, his heart rate increased, his fight or flight impulse was activated in the amygdala portion of his brain. He was ready to fight these self righteous Pharisees on behalf of God, on behalf of the people who were suffering under the hypocritical laws and practices of the established religion.

Been there, done that. Felt that surge. My face getting hot red with derision. Mouth dry...or salivating all over the place like a rabid dog. The veins in my neck start to surface. Fists clench. Sometimes I’ve gotten angry over something noble like an injustice that I’ve witnessed or experienced. Sometimes I’ve gone ballistic over being cut off in traffic or being served the wrong order at Taco Bell. I have been known to explode when I witness an injustice in court or on the sidelines of a pee wee soccer game. I get all riled up and then perseverate on the anger I’m feeling. I hold onto it and nurture it and share it with anyone who will listen to me rant. I’VE BEEN WRONGED! SOMEONE I CARE ABOUT WAS GIVEN A RAW DEAL! RAWWWWWWWR! (insert your image of me doing a Hulk impersonation here).

It’s not pretty.

Maybe you’ve been there, too.

The hard thing is when I can’t let go of the anger. When it get’s into my blood and keeps on boiling long after the triggering incident has passed. I’m grateful for tapping prayer, because if I can think to use it, I discover that God can ease my angst and replace it with peace.

If you are still stewing on something that has made you mad, please join me in a round of tapping prayer. If you are new to prayer tapping, you can check out my basic recipe here.

Because anger involves the amygdala, it is likely that whatever has us upset right now, has gotten us upset in the past. Perhaps the same situation. Perhaps a similar event. The amygdala is like an early warning system in our brain and it alerts us to feel certain things based on previous experiences and patterns of experiences.

Try and identify something that has your blood boiling right now. Before bringing that issue to God, try and remember an incident from your childhood that had you feeling a similar way. Once you have that incident in mind, give it a SUD (see basic recipe) on a scale from 0-10 and write that number down on a piece of paper. There is such a wide variety of things that can get our goat, so let’s call the incident that you have identified, THE PURPLE. Naming our anger after an abstract symbol (such as a color or shape) serves 2 purposes. 1. It gives us a little distance from something that may feel overwhelming or frightening to us. 2 It gives us a common language to use when offering up our prayer.

When you are ready to pray, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!

Karate chop: Dear God, I am mad! Angry! Ripped!. Something Purple has happened and I’m beside myself with rage. It’s hard to think of anything else. I keep going back to why the Purple happened. Why it made me feel so ticked off. Why I can’t let it go. It’s kind of exhausting, and at least around this Purple, I am ready for you to bring me some peace. Even though I have this Purple anger, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though this Purple makes me feel angry, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I have all this Purple pulsing through my veins (and my amygdala!) I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Top of head: I have this Purple anger.

Eyebrow: This Purple is so strong.

Outer eye: I feel overwhelmed by this Purple.

Under eye: This Purple feeling is out of control

Under nose: I don’t like feeling out of control

Under lip: This Purple is kind of scary.

Collarbone: I have all this powerful Purple

Underarms: This Purple is painful

Wrists: I don't deserve all this Purple.

Top of head: Even though I have a lot of Purple, I am deeply loved and God completely accepts me.

Eyebrow: I wonder when I learned to be afraid of the Purple?

Outer eye: Maybe the Purple wasn’t safe

Under eye: Perhaps I was told not to express my feelings about the Purple or I would face terrible consequences.

Under lip: I might have been punished for feeling Purple

Collarbone: Even though I was punished for feeling Purple, I am deeply loved and completely cared for by God.

Underarms: All this shame filled Purple...

Wrists: The Purple is everywhere. Maybe I deserved it.

Top of Head: Even though there is Purple everywhere I look, and even if I deserved it, I am completely cared for and accepted by God.

Eyebrow: Maybe Purple is nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe people just feel Purple when something like this happens. Perhaps the Purple is just another feeling that can come and go like waves on a shore

Outer eye: This Purple is crashing down on me

Under eye: I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God as I try and catch my breath

Under nose: This rage filled Purple

Under lip: This Purple that is just another feeling

Collarbone: My Purple is boiling over. I can’t contain it.

Underarms: Maybe God can contain it. God is, after all, pretty big.

Wrists: I can consider forgiving myself or anyone else who contributed to this awful Purple.

Top of Head: Even though I have this angry Purple, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

And take a deep breath...Thank you God for being with my Purple in this prayer. Thank you for sending your healing spirit to attend to the Purple that has been keeping me from feeling peace. Amen.

When you are ready, take note of the Purple anger and check the power it is still holding. On a scale of 0-10, how strong is your Purple? If the number is not down to a 0-2, what issues are keeping it at a higher number? Did new issues around the Purple become more prevalent? If so, try writing them down and bringing them to God with more specific language.

The lessons we learned about Purple kinds of events when we were children often inform how we experience Purple as adults. God has been along for the whole of our journey, so trust that the Holy is capable of getting back to the beginning of our anger and healing us up into the present. If the whole Hulk thing is starting to wear thin for you, try prayer tapping on the many shades of Purple that might be turning you green.

Peace,

todd

PS. Check out next week’s TUESDAY TAP: prayer tapping on grief.

THURSDAY THUMP: Prayer tapping on change.

18 A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

19 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 20 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.’”

21 “All these I have kept since I was a boy,” he said.

22 When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

23 When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was very wealthy. 24 Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! 25 Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

26 Those who heard this asked, “Who then can be saved?”

27 Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”--Luke 18

I have heard this text taught as an admonition against wealth. I have seen ministers shake their head as a warning to parishioners who wouldn’t open their wallets a little wider. I have witnessed parishioners use this text to justify themselves because, after all, being poor allowed them to pass through the needle’s eye just fine.

I think this text is about something bigger. Something more universal. I believe that Jesus was talking about, “change.”

The young man had followed the rules. He had jumped through the hoops. He had lived a good life...and, he was richly rewarded for his good life (or so the thinking of the day would have concluded). But here’s where Jesus throws a fly into the ointment. Living well is not enough. Following the rules is not enough.

Drawing closer to God requires change.

Big change.

Sacrificial change.

That may explain the outcry of those who heard this story first hand. “WHO THEN CAN BE SAVED?”

I know that I struggle with changing. I wrestle with letting go of old patterns, old relationships, old truths that no longer serve my well being. Perhaps you have some areas in your life that you have a hard time changing, too.

I take heart in Jesus’ reply to our crisis of faith, ““What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

I believe that is our call to prayer today. I also believe that is where tapping prayer can set us free and allow us to pass through that elusive needle’s eye.

Try and identify one area of your life that needs changing. There may be many issues to choose from:

• My relationship with a friend is killing me.
• I hate my job.
• I can’t quit smoking/eating/hurting myself.
• I’ve never prayed like this before.

You probably have something different that is keeping you from feeling peace. Choose one issue where you are particularly stuck, and give that issue a SUD from 0-10. Use the statement: “I can’t stop............” and fill in the blank. If you are new to tapping prayer, read this article first so that you can become familiar with how it works.

When you are ready to let God start making the impossible possible, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray:  

Karate Chop: I’m sure this will come as no surprise to you, God, but I hate change...unless I’m in control of it. It’s uncomfortable to learn new patterns, be in new relationships, figure out new ways of doing things. I like the old ways...even if they’re killing me! Or hurting me. Or not serving my ability to be at peace with you and the people I love.

I need help.

I have a problem.

I’m addicted to the way I’ve always done things, and I need your intervention.

Even though I can’t stop..........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I am addicted to................I am held in God’s loving arms and cared for all time by the Divine. Even though I don’t want to stop...........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: I can’t stop........................

Outer eye: I have been....................for a long time. It’s what I’m comfortable with.

Under eye: Even if it makes me feel uncomfortable, I prefer to keep on............

Under nose: I can’t stop..................

Under lip: I can’t change.

Collarbone: Even though I can’t change I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Underarms: I can’t quit...............

Wrists: I am hooked on....................

Top of head: Even though I can’t change, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

Eyebrow: I wonder what I would lose if I changed?

Outer eye: Losing something sounds scary. I might be scared.

Under eye: I might lose my family or friends or job or...............

Under nose: I wonder how life would be different without................?

Under lip: What if the “different” wasn’t pleasing to me?

Collarbone: I like being in control.

Underarms: It feels like this......................is controlling me.

Wrists: I’m trapped by my inability/unwillingness to change.

Top of head: Even though I feel out of control, I am loved and respected and cherished by God.

Eyebrow: Maybe I could change.

Outer eye: Maybe God could control the things that I can’t control.

Under eye: I can never ever NEVER change.

Under nose: I can consider forgiving myself for becoming addicted to................

Under lip: I can consider forgiving anyone who has enabled me or is enabling me to continue..........................

Collarbone: Even though I can’t stop...................., God accepts me and calls me, “Beloved.”

Underarms: I have this habit.

Wrists: I am beloved by God. I can consider having compassion for myself.

Top of Head: Even though I can’t stop...................., I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

And take a deep breath.........I thank you God for being with me in the midst of my impossible addiction. I am grateful for the attention you have shown to my soul.

Check your SUD on the phrase: “I can’t stop.....................” Has anything shifted? Can you consider change in a new way? Are there any new issues attached to the original concern? What are the feelings connected to these new issues? If your SUD is at a 0-2 you are probably experiencing a new found peace, despite a “change” occurring within you! If your SUD is higher than a 2, try directing God’s healing toward the new issue, or add some new details to the above concern.

Jesus didn’t reject the young man who was struggling with change. He gave him a recipe for liberation and allowed him to try it when he was ready. Jesus had compassion for the challenge the young man was facing. Jesus has compassion for the revolution of our soul that is required of us, in order for us to draw closer to God.
Peace,
todd
Check in next week for the TUESDAY TAP: Prayer tapping on forgiveness.

TUESDAY TAP: prayer tapping on fear

16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. --1 John 4

The early church believed that Jesus’ return was imminent. 1John in particular was preparing for him to come back and physically reestablish God’s reign on earth at any moment. It had been 60 years since the first Easter and folks were wondering...and waiting...and watching. The Christian church has been watching for that moment for 2000 years, which may ultimately be just a blink in God’s time...but it’s a lonnnng time in our life span. Doubts eek in. Fear rears its head.

The early church was dealing with fear. Fear of persecution. Fear of rejection. Fear of abandonment. Fear of falling apart. Fear of being wrong about Jesus coming in the flesh to save them. Fear filled their world from within and beyond themselves.

Maybe you have that experience of fear, too. Perhaps you are experiencing it now. 1John believed that God’s love could help drive out fear. He noted that the elimination of fear was a holy process. It was not a one time fixer upper, but an ongoing journey bringing us closer and closer to God.

1John wisely observed that fear often had to do with punishment.

Do any of your fears connect to a sense of being punished? By someone? Something?

Today we will call on God to help us drive away some fear, and replace it with a peaceful love. Tapping prayer focuses God’s healing on events or issues in our lives that keep us from experiencing peace. Try and identify a single fear that is causing you distress right now. Say, “I am afraid of..........(and fill in the blank).” On a scale of 0-10, how true is that statement for you? 0=not very true. 10-very true. The number you come up with is called a Subjective Unit of Distress. Write it down so that you can refer to it after you do some prayer tapping. If you are new to tapping prayer, read this article first so that you can learn the basic recipe.

Before you begin prayer tapping, please note that sometimes when we are praying for issues like fear, our SUD may suddenly spike upward. This can be very distressing and cause us to feel even more afraid. I am telling you this ahead of the prayer so that if it happens, you will be prepared and know that you can just shift your focus to whatever is causing the SUD to spike, and ask God to shift to that fear instead. There is no need to ignore the strong feeling and muscle forward with your original prayer! God derives no pleasure in your pain. What has probably happened is that the fear you were originally focusing on has been alleviated by God’s love and in the process, a deeper seated fear has bubbled up...blooop!...to the top of your awareness. You can use the same format of the prayer to attend to this new issue. Tapping prayer is a very versatile tool.

Ok? When you are ready to apply God’s healing spirit to your fear, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray:

Karate Chop: (taking a deep breath) Ok God, here we go. I am nervous just thinking about praying for this thing I fear. I am concerned that invoking its name will somehow hurt me. I need your help. I need your protection while I pray. I need you to fill me with your peace and especially, target the thing that I am praying about today. 1John said that perfect love drives out fear...I’m ready for your love to do its work on me right now. Even though I am afraid of.........., I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though...........scares me, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God. Even though...................makes my skin crawl and my heart race (and not in a good way) I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Top of head: I am afraid of …......................

Eyebrow: This.......................makes me feel anxious.

Outer eye: My fear of …...................has a SUD of …...............

Under eye: I can feel my anxiety rising just thinking about.............

Under nose: I’m so afraid of....................

Under lip: I have this fear.

Collarbone: I feel terrified.

Underarm: I am afraid of....................

Wrists: So afraid.

Top of head: Even though I have this fear of …........... I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: This fear has power over me.

Outer eye: This fear keeps me from doing things I want to do.

Under eye: I wonder if this fear is keeping me safe?

Under nose: I can consider feeling safe without this fear.

Under lip: Collarbone: I have this fear.

Underarm: What would happen if I let go of this fear? How would my life change?

Wrists: So much fear.

Top of head: Even though I am afraid of................. I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: Afraid of …..................

Outer eye: Feeling peaceful about.....................

Under eye: I can taste the fear of........................

Under nose: I can consider God’s love replacing this fear.

Under lip: That would be so cool.

Collarbone: Even though I am  considering replacing this fear with God’s love, I am deeply cared for by God.

Underarm: This fear of....................with a SUD of …..................

Wrists: So much love. So much love. So much love.

Top of head: Even though I have this fear of................ I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Deep breath.....and thank you God for sending your spirit to attend to my fear today. You are working on my behalf to bring me peace.

Try saying, “I am afraid of.......................” On a scale of 0-10 how true is that statement? If your SUD went up, what are the issues that raised the number? Try applying God’s love to those concerns. If the number went down, is there any remaining fear? Assign it a SUD and experience the kind of peace and healing that God has in store for you. When God has tamed cleared this particular fear for you, try bringing another fear to God’s attention with tapping prayer.

Being a person of faith does not mean that you will live without fear. In fact, acknowledging our fears is a great way of inviting God’s love into our lives. There is always room for more of that!

Peace,

todd

ps. Check out the Thursday Thump later this week, when we will bring tapping prayer to bear on negative people in our lives.