THURSDAY THUMP: prayer tapping on grief

32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

35 Jesus wept.

36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” --John 11

Beliefs around death in the first century were as diverse as they are today. Some people believed that when a person died, he or she simply ceased to exist. End of story. Some people believed in a resurrection of the body...or the soul...a continuation of the story in some mysterious form. Some people believed that the dead were reborn into new bodies here on earth. Each belief system created unique philosophical responses to death, but the common thread that still strings these and other beliefs together is, grief.

Grief is our response to the death of someone. The response might be spiritual, or emotional, or physical. It might involve crying, or shutting down, or wailing, or withdrawing. It is often accompanied by sadness, anger, denial, emptiness, wistfulness, relief, guilt...or some combination of the aforementioned. Grief can be pretty clear cut or pretty complicated depending on the circumstances surrounding the death or our relationship with the one who has died.

To that end, prayer tapping on grief is a pretty personal thing. It invites the Holy to attend to some very intimate and labyrinthine issues.

• Perhaps we feel guilty about feeling relieved by someone’s death.
• • Maybe we feel the person deserved to die and we are angry.
• • Maybe the persons death caught us by surprise.
• • Maybe there was violence around the persons death
• • Maybe the person died as a result of an accident or war.

• The person might have committed suicide and we are left with a lot of questions and a lot of feelings that are all overwhelming our system at the same time.

• We might cry out like the sisters of Lazarus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

The good news is, God is here with us in our grief. Jesus weeps for the pain and confusion we are experiencing, and more, He is willing and able to attend to our hurting places by way of the Holy Spirit.

If you are grieving today, take a moment to write down the unique feelings you are experiencing around your loss.

Look at the list, and try assigning a SUD from 0-10 to each feeling, depending on how strongly you are enduring that feeling. If you are new to tapping prayer, check out my basic recipe here before proceeding.

Choose one feeling that is bothering you. You may want to choose something with a low number to begin with or, you may want to dive into the deep end of the pool and get right to the tough stuff. God will be there to attend to your concerns in any order you choose to focus the Holy’s healing love. Do what feels safest to you.

Once you have chosen a feeling around your grief, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!

Karate chop: My heart is heavy with grief, God. My soul is overwhelmed with feelings that are associated with...............’s death. I am overwhelmed with feelings about..................’s death. I’m going to try and focus on one feeling now, and when I am at peace with it, I may come to you again with another feeling about …............’s death. I may not. I’ve got a lot happening in me right now. I don’t know which way to turn, but I find myself turning to this tapping prayer today, and so I ask that you would bring me some healing through it. Even though I am feeling..............around my loss, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I feel............around..............death, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God. Even though I have this...........response to ….............death, I am held in God’s constant love and acceptance.

Top of head: I have this...........feeling.

Eyebrow: I am so.............about............death.

Outer eye: I feel............

Under eye: I have this overwhelming sense of..............

Under nose: I can’t shake this feeling of..................

Under lip: This deep …..........

Collarbone: I feel..............

Underarms: I am...............

Wrists: This …......feeling is keeping me from peace.

Top of head: Even though I feel.........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: I wonder if I’ll always feel this..... grief?

Outer eye: I think I can feel this........in my body.

Under eye: This overwhelming...........is getting in the way of feeling peace.

Under nose: I might have unfinished business with........that is contributing to this feeling of .............

Under lip: Even if I have unfinished business with..... that is contributing to this feeling of ...........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Collarbone: I am experiencing a SUD of …..around this aspect of my grief.

Wrists: I have so much grief effecting my life.

Top of head: Even though I have all this...........grief, I am deeply loved and held in God’s tender care.

Eyebrow: ..(name of person who died)..is deeply loved and held in God’s tender care.

Outer eye: Maybe I can forgive myself for feeling.......about..........’s death.

Under eye: Maybe I can forgive anyone who may have contributed to...........’s death.

Under nose: Even if I can forgive myself and everyone else who may have contributed to.......death, and even if I can forgive.........for dying, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under lip: Maybe I don’t have to hold onto this...........grief forever.

Collarbone: I have this...............grief in my soul.

Wrists: I am feeling..........about …......death.

Top of head: Even though I am feeling.......about........death, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

and take a deep breath...Thank you God for being with me in my feelings around..........’s death. Thank you for sending your healing spirit to attend to my needs. Amen.

When you are ready, test your intensity around the feeling you were asking help for. What is the SUD associated with it now? Higher? Lower? Same? Where has God brought you new insights into your feelings about.....’s death? If your SUD is lower, you are beginning to heal with God’s help. Keep prayer tapping on the issue until it gets to a 0-2, and then move on to another feeling on your list. If your SUD went up, check to see if the issue you began with might be gone, and you have moved to a more intense feeling. If so, apply the prayer to that issue until your SUD goes down to a 0-2. If your SUD stayed the same, drink a glass of water and then try the prayer again. Sometimes if we are dehydrated, our awareness of God’s spirit is diminished.

If it would be helpful to use this prayer one on one, please contact me at tapping.into.prayer.now@gmail.com and we can set up a time to work on your grief, together.

Peace,

Todd

THURSDAY THUMP: prayer tapping on anger

23 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24 You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

25 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs,which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. --Matthew 23

Jesus was ripping mad. His frustration with the Pharisees had reached a tipping point and he was tired of playing Mr. Nice Guy. Mr. All in Control. Mr. I’ll never take out a whip and upset a marketplace set up in the Temple. 

Jesus was angry. The chemicals were rushing through his brain, his heart rate increased, his fight or flight impulse was activated in the amygdala portion of his brain. He was ready to fight these self righteous Pharisees on behalf of God, on behalf of the people who were suffering under the hypocritical laws and practices of the established religion.

Been there, done that. Felt that surge. My face getting hot red with derision. Mouth dry...or salivating all over the place like a rabid dog. The veins in my neck start to surface. Fists clench. Sometimes I’ve gotten angry over something noble like an injustice that I’ve witnessed or experienced. Sometimes I’ve gone ballistic over being cut off in traffic or being served the wrong order at Taco Bell. I have been known to explode when I witness an injustice in court or on the sidelines of a pee wee soccer game. I get all riled up and then perseverate on the anger I’m feeling. I hold onto it and nurture it and share it with anyone who will listen to me rant. I’VE BEEN WRONGED! SOMEONE I CARE ABOUT WAS GIVEN A RAW DEAL! RAWWWWWWWR! (insert your image of me doing a Hulk impersonation here).

It’s not pretty.

Maybe you’ve been there, too.

The hard thing is when I can’t let go of the anger. When it get’s into my blood and keeps on boiling long after the triggering incident has passed. I’m grateful for tapping prayer, because if I can think to use it, I discover that God can ease my angst and replace it with peace.

If you are still stewing on something that has made you mad, please join me in a round of tapping prayer. If you are new to prayer tapping, you can check out my basic recipe here.

Because anger involves the amygdala, it is likely that whatever has us upset right now, has gotten us upset in the past. Perhaps the same situation. Perhaps a similar event. The amygdala is like an early warning system in our brain and it alerts us to feel certain things based on previous experiences and patterns of experiences.

Try and identify something that has your blood boiling right now. Before bringing that issue to God, try and remember an incident from your childhood that had you feeling a similar way. Once you have that incident in mind, give it a SUD (see basic recipe) on a scale from 0-10 and write that number down on a piece of paper. There is such a wide variety of things that can get our goat, so let’s call the incident that you have identified, THE PURPLE. Naming our anger after an abstract symbol (such as a color or shape) serves 2 purposes. 1. It gives us a little distance from something that may feel overwhelming or frightening to us. 2 It gives us a common language to use when offering up our prayer.

When you are ready to pray, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!

Karate chop: Dear God, I am mad! Angry! Ripped!. Something Purple has happened and I’m beside myself with rage. It’s hard to think of anything else. I keep going back to why the Purple happened. Why it made me feel so ticked off. Why I can’t let it go. It’s kind of exhausting, and at least around this Purple, I am ready for you to bring me some peace. Even though I have this Purple anger, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though this Purple makes me feel angry, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I have all this Purple pulsing through my veins (and my amygdala!) I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Top of head: I have this Purple anger.

Eyebrow: This Purple is so strong.

Outer eye: I feel overwhelmed by this Purple.

Under eye: This Purple feeling is out of control

Under nose: I don’t like feeling out of control

Under lip: This Purple is kind of scary.

Collarbone: I have all this powerful Purple

Underarms: This Purple is painful

Wrists: I don't deserve all this Purple.

Top of head: Even though I have a lot of Purple, I am deeply loved and God completely accepts me.

Eyebrow: I wonder when I learned to be afraid of the Purple?

Outer eye: Maybe the Purple wasn’t safe

Under eye: Perhaps I was told not to express my feelings about the Purple or I would face terrible consequences.

Under lip: I might have been punished for feeling Purple

Collarbone: Even though I was punished for feeling Purple, I am deeply loved and completely cared for by God.

Underarms: All this shame filled Purple...

Wrists: The Purple is everywhere. Maybe I deserved it.

Top of Head: Even though there is Purple everywhere I look, and even if I deserved it, I am completely cared for and accepted by God.

Eyebrow: Maybe Purple is nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe people just feel Purple when something like this happens. Perhaps the Purple is just another feeling that can come and go like waves on a shore

Outer eye: This Purple is crashing down on me

Under eye: I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God as I try and catch my breath

Under nose: This rage filled Purple

Under lip: This Purple that is just another feeling

Collarbone: My Purple is boiling over. I can’t contain it.

Underarms: Maybe God can contain it. God is, after all, pretty big.

Wrists: I can consider forgiving myself or anyone else who contributed to this awful Purple.

Top of Head: Even though I have this angry Purple, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

And take a deep breath...Thank you God for being with my Purple in this prayer. Thank you for sending your healing spirit to attend to the Purple that has been keeping me from feeling peace. Amen.

When you are ready, take note of the Purple anger and check the power it is still holding. On a scale of 0-10, how strong is your Purple? If the number is not down to a 0-2, what issues are keeping it at a higher number? Did new issues around the Purple become more prevalent? If so, try writing them down and bringing them to God with more specific language.

The lessons we learned about Purple kinds of events when we were children often inform how we experience Purple as adults. God has been along for the whole of our journey, so trust that the Holy is capable of getting back to the beginning of our anger and healing us up into the present. If the whole Hulk thing is starting to wear thin for you, try prayer tapping on the many shades of Purple that might be turning you green.

Peace,

todd

PS. Check out next week’s TUESDAY TAP: prayer tapping on grief.

THURSDAY THUMP: Prayer tapping on change.

18 A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

19 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 20 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.’”

21 “All these I have kept since I was a boy,” he said.

22 When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

23 When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was very wealthy. 24 Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! 25 Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

26 Those who heard this asked, “Who then can be saved?”

27 Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”--Luke 18

I have heard this text taught as an admonition against wealth. I have seen ministers shake their head as a warning to parishioners who wouldn’t open their wallets a little wider. I have witnessed parishioners use this text to justify themselves because, after all, being poor allowed them to pass through the needle’s eye just fine.

I think this text is about something bigger. Something more universal. I believe that Jesus was talking about, “change.”

The young man had followed the rules. He had jumped through the hoops. He had lived a good life...and, he was richly rewarded for his good life (or so the thinking of the day would have concluded). But here’s where Jesus throws a fly into the ointment. Living well is not enough. Following the rules is not enough.

Drawing closer to God requires change.

Big change.

Sacrificial change.

That may explain the outcry of those who heard this story first hand. “WHO THEN CAN BE SAVED?”

I know that I struggle with changing. I wrestle with letting go of old patterns, old relationships, old truths that no longer serve my well being. Perhaps you have some areas in your life that you have a hard time changing, too.

I take heart in Jesus’ reply to our crisis of faith, ““What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

I believe that is our call to prayer today. I also believe that is where tapping prayer can set us free and allow us to pass through that elusive needle’s eye.

Try and identify one area of your life that needs changing. There may be many issues to choose from:

• My relationship with a friend is killing me.
• I hate my job.
• I can’t quit smoking/eating/hurting myself.
• I’ve never prayed like this before.

You probably have something different that is keeping you from feeling peace. Choose one issue where you are particularly stuck, and give that issue a SUD from 0-10. Use the statement: “I can’t stop............” and fill in the blank. If you are new to tapping prayer, read this article first so that you can become familiar with how it works.

When you are ready to let God start making the impossible possible, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray:  

Karate Chop: I’m sure this will come as no surprise to you, God, but I hate change...unless I’m in control of it. It’s uncomfortable to learn new patterns, be in new relationships, figure out new ways of doing things. I like the old ways...even if they’re killing me! Or hurting me. Or not serving my ability to be at peace with you and the people I love.

I need help.

I have a problem.

I’m addicted to the way I’ve always done things, and I need your intervention.

Even though I can’t stop..........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I am addicted to................I am held in God’s loving arms and cared for all time by the Divine. Even though I don’t want to stop...........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: I can’t stop........................

Outer eye: I have been....................for a long time. It’s what I’m comfortable with.

Under eye: Even if it makes me feel uncomfortable, I prefer to keep on............

Under nose: I can’t stop..................

Under lip: I can’t change.

Collarbone: Even though I can’t change I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Underarms: I can’t quit...............

Wrists: I am hooked on....................

Top of head: Even though I can’t change, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

Eyebrow: I wonder what I would lose if I changed?

Outer eye: Losing something sounds scary. I might be scared.

Under eye: I might lose my family or friends or job or...............

Under nose: I wonder how life would be different without................?

Under lip: What if the “different” wasn’t pleasing to me?

Collarbone: I like being in control.

Underarms: It feels like this......................is controlling me.

Wrists: I’m trapped by my inability/unwillingness to change.

Top of head: Even though I feel out of control, I am loved and respected and cherished by God.

Eyebrow: Maybe I could change.

Outer eye: Maybe God could control the things that I can’t control.

Under eye: I can never ever NEVER change.

Under nose: I can consider forgiving myself for becoming addicted to................

Under lip: I can consider forgiving anyone who has enabled me or is enabling me to continue..........................

Collarbone: Even though I can’t stop...................., God accepts me and calls me, “Beloved.”

Underarms: I have this habit.

Wrists: I am beloved by God. I can consider having compassion for myself.

Top of Head: Even though I can’t stop...................., I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

And take a deep breath.........I thank you God for being with me in the midst of my impossible addiction. I am grateful for the attention you have shown to my soul.

Check your SUD on the phrase: “I can’t stop.....................” Has anything shifted? Can you consider change in a new way? Are there any new issues attached to the original concern? What are the feelings connected to these new issues? If your SUD is at a 0-2 you are probably experiencing a new found peace, despite a “change” occurring within you! If your SUD is higher than a 2, try directing God’s healing toward the new issue, or add some new details to the above concern.

Jesus didn’t reject the young man who was struggling with change. He gave him a recipe for liberation and allowed him to try it when he was ready. Jesus had compassion for the challenge the young man was facing. Jesus has compassion for the revolution of our soul that is required of us, in order for us to draw closer to God.
Peace,
todd
Check in next week for the TUESDAY TAP: Prayer tapping on forgiveness.

TUESDAY TAP: Prayer tapping on not enough time to do everything

There is a time for everything,

   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,

   a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3     a time to kill and a time to heal,

   a time to tear down and a time to build,

4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,

   a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6     a time to search and a time to give up,

   a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7     a time to tear and a time to mend,

   a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8     a time to love and a time to hate,

   a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What do workers gain from their toil?--Ecclesiastes 3

Ecclesiastes (aka: The Preacher) did not believe that time was on his side. Nor did he have the feel good vibe of The Byrds hit, Turn, Turn, Turn echoing through his soul. For Ecclesiastes, TIME was at the whim of God (folks in E’s day believed that everything was at the whim of God!) for better or for worse. The differing times and seasons were going to happen no matter what we did, no matter how hard we toiled, so we might as well just hang on and enjoy the ride...well, the parts of the ride that went in our favor. For every other time, there was endurance and complaint.

Still, we try and manage time. We set our watches. Check our calendars. We note the changing seasons and try to get a handle on this elusive fact of life. Often, we are frustrated by our inability to keep up with it. We fall behind and worry that we are running out of time. We fret that there is not enough of it in a day to get everything done that needs to be done...to what end, I am not sure...but that’s what I read on facebook (the Ecclesiastes of our time).

I don’t agree with blaming God for our time issues. It seems to me that there are choices we make and choices others make that cause life to feel frantic.

• The dog runs out of the house as you’re leaving for a meeting.
• Your child announces that she has to use the potty just before you leave for work.
• A classmate has an accident on his way to pick you up for school.
• Somebody get’s a cold and can’t make the performance.

BOOM! You are late. Behind. Trying to catch up with your day. I can’t imagine the Divine watching over us with a stopwatch and shouting, “Mark, Set, GO!” and then taking pleasure as we fail.

So what do we do with our feelings of not being able to get everything done? If we can’t blame God perhaps we can call on God to help us feel better about the time we are living in, no matter how unmanageable it may feel.

Try saying, “I don’t have enough time to get everything done today.” On a scale of 0-10, how true is that statement? Write that number down. It is a Subjective Unit of Distress (SUD) and you can use it after you pray to help identify how God’s spirit has been working through your concern. If you are new to prayer tapping, read this article about the basic recipe for tapping prayer.

When you are ready to pray, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray:

Karate Chop: I don’t have time for this prayer, God. You know it. I know it. I’m already late and starting to freak out. My SUD is at a …... and there is no way that this is going to help things. I’ll just get farther behind in my schedule. And I KNOW that Todd says, “it’s not God’s fault” but let me tell you, I’m not too sure about that tapper guy right about now. Alas, here goes (just so I can check it off my list of things to do today...)

Even though I don’t have enough time to get everything done today, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though this prayer is taking up my precious time, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I’ll never get everything done today, God completely loves me and accepts me.

Top of head: I don’t have enough time.

Eyebrow: I have so much to do.

Outer eye: The clock just keeps ticking.

Under eye: I’ll never get it all done.

Under nose: I just don’t have enough time

Under lip: tick tick tick tick

Collarbone: I can’t keep up with my schedule today.

Underarms: I’m feeling overwhelmed because I don’t have enough time in my day.

Wrists: I have SOOOOO much to do and SOOOOO little time to do it in.

Top of head: Even though I may not get it all done today, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: Maybe I could do some of the things on my list.

Outer eye: Maybe I can’t do anything on my list.

Under eye: I wonder which things are most important to do.

Under nose: I have so little time to do the things I need to do.

Under lip: I wonder what would happen if I did less?

Collarbone: The things I have to do are important.

Underarms: God took a day off.

Wrists: The things I have to do must be more important than what God has going on, and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Top of head: I have so much to do and I am deeply and totally cared for by God.

Eyebrow: I wonder if I could say “no” to some things today, and save them for tomorrow?

Outer eye: Even if I don’t do everything on my list today, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under eye: I could use some of my time to take care of myself and the people I love and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under nose: I could go shopping for tweezers and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under lip: I can choose to let some things go for today and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Collarbone: I may disappoint someone with my choices, and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Underarm: Maybe I can forgive myself for the choices I make. Maybe I can forgive those who will be disappointed with my choices.

Wrists: I don’t have enough to time to get everything done today.

Top of head: Even though I don’t have enough time to get everything done today, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

Take a deep breath....and, "thank you God for taking your time to be with me today."

Check your SUD on “I don’t have enough to time to get everything done today.” How true is that statement? Has the number gone up? down? stayed the same? If it is not down to a 0-2, try and identify the issues that are keeping it at a higher number. Write those issues down, and then try and identify a person or event that each issue reminds you of. Give that person or event a SUD, and resume prayer tapping until you experience deep peace around, “I don’t have enough to time to get everything done today.” Chances are, you’ll have just enough time to do this.

Ecclesiastes didn’t take into account the random nature of living. Despite his wisdom, he missed the fact that sometimes life throws us curve balls that are not at all in keeping with God’s desires for us. The great thing is that with God’s help, we can discover time that goes beyond our perception of time, and in the process, experience a Holy peace for ourselves and others around us.

Peace,

todd

ps. Check out Thursday’s Thump when I address “ fear of change” with tapping prayer.