TUESDAY TAP: prayer tapping on remorse

Have mercy on me, O God,

   according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion

   blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity

   and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,

   and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned

   and done what is evil in your sight;

so you are right in your verdict

   and justified when you judge

King David had raped Bathsheba and was planning to kill her husband. He had a lot to be sorry about. Personally, I think he was a bit delusional in thinking that the only sin he committed was against God. David used his power and authority to have sex with Bathsheba; manipulated a scene of war in order to destroy the love of her life; and claimed Bathsheba as a prize. It seems to me that David had a LOT to be sorry for.

Feeling remorseful toward God was a start, perhaps with some healing he would be able to see other aspects of the terrible things he did to Bathseba and her family.

Hopefully you haven’t gotten yourself in as deep a mess, but even if you have, it’s important to remember that God is still with you.  The combination of sorrow and guilt can really gnaw on a person.

But back to David and God. Note how despite the egregious nature of David’s sin (yeah, that’s the word for it) he believed that there was hope for him. He believed that somehow God could right his wrongs. He believed that the Holy would take action so that David could do better in the future and teach others the folly of his ways. David had faith that the love of God was/is bigger and stronger than the things that David did wrong. God could heal David, and in doing so, free him to bring that healing to others...perhaps even to Bathsheba.

I can remember feeling such remorse after missing an important conversation with my kids. I had chosen to do some work on my computer, or go to a meeting, both of which could have waited for a bit. I can remember the dejected look in their eyes. I can remember the love that forgave me, even if it didn’t understand why I didn’t have time when they really needed me. How come I had time for other people? Was the meeting about wallpapering a room in the church building more important than a conversation about how my child had been bullied at school?

My heart still hurts when I think of the many times I’ve made a bad choice. Perhaps you have similar hurts that go with different circumstances. Remorse is a heavy thing to live with, and, it can get in the way of a healthy relationship.

Let’s take a chance that despite the awful things he did to Bathsheba and her husband, David was right about God’s healing love.

Try to identify a particular event  that you are feeling remorseful about. See it. Smell it. Hear it. Taste it. Just for a moment. Just for long enough to get a Subjective Unit of Distress on the event (if you are new to tapping prayer, check out my basic recipe here to learn more about SUDs).  Write down your SUD and when you are ready, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!

Karate chop: Well, I messed up, God. I did something really terrible and now I am filled with remorse. I wish I could go back and do things differently. I wish I hadn’t caused the pain I caused with the actions I took. I feel awful. I feel overwhelmed by the awful and I can’t think of how I can move forward with my life. I need your help. I need your attention on this remorse I am feeling. Even though I am feeling remorse, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I caused someone else a lot of pain and discomfort, and I feel badly about that, I am gently held in the loving arms of God. Even though I feel terrible about what I did, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

Top of head: I am feeling remorseful.

Eyebrow: I feel so sad about what I did to...............

Outer eye: I am guilty of hurting..................

Under eye: I feel terrible about what I did.

Under nose: I really betrayed a trust.

Under lip: My relationship with.......is hurting because of what I did.

Collarbone: I broke..................................

Underarms: I feel awful about hurting.............

Wrists: This heavy feeling of remorse.

Top of head: Even though I am carrying this heavy feeling of remorse, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: Maybe I hurt..........because I was hurting.

Outer eye: Now we’re both hurting and I’m feeling guilty.

Under eye: I guess that didn’t work out the way I hoped it would

Under nose: Now I feel stupid, too.

Under lip: Maybe I thought...........deserved to be hurt.

Collarbone: Maybe..........did deserve to be hurt.

Underarms: I feel deep remorse for what I did to.............Maybe  I was wrong. I feel like I was wrong. If I was right I probably wouldn’t feel such remorse.

Wrists: Even if.............deserved it, I am feeling sad and sorry for what I did.

Top of head: Even if I am feeling sad and sorry for what I did, I am deeply loved and completely held in God’s constant care.

Eyebrow: I wonder how I would feel if...........had done what I did?

Outer eye: I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under eye: …........is deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under nose: I feel good about hurting................

Under lip: I feel terrible about hurting..........

Collarbone: I can see the hurt in......eyes. I can hear the pain in.......’s voice. I can feel my breathing change as I think about what I did to.................

Underarms: God knows where my remorse is blocking me from peace.

Wrists: I have this deep remorse for what I did.

Top of head: Even though I have this deep remorse for what I did, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

And take a deep breath...and thank you God for attending to the remorse that is keeping me from peace. Thank you for sending your spirit to heal the events in my life that keep me from moving forward in healthy ways. Amen.

Try thinking about the event that you felt remorseful about. What is its SUD now?  What new issues or aspects of the event are keeping you from feeling a SUD of 0-2? I believe that David was right about God’s desire to heal us when we mess up...no matter how big the mess! Keep bringing your issues to God until you feel that 0-2 peace. Once you are there, then try thinking about how you can begin to make amends and heal the relationship that has been hard to resolve. God will go with you in that healing, too. Count on it. Better yet, tap on it.

Peace,

todd

TUESDAY TAP: Prayer tapping on not enough time to do everything

There is a time for everything,

   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,

   a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3     a time to kill and a time to heal,

   a time to tear down and a time to build,

4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,

   a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6     a time to search and a time to give up,

   a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7     a time to tear and a time to mend,

   a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8     a time to love and a time to hate,

   a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What do workers gain from their toil?--Ecclesiastes 3

Ecclesiastes (aka: The Preacher) did not believe that time was on his side. Nor did he have the feel good vibe of The Byrds hit, Turn, Turn, Turn echoing through his soul. For Ecclesiastes, TIME was at the whim of God (folks in E’s day believed that everything was at the whim of God!) for better or for worse. The differing times and seasons were going to happen no matter what we did, no matter how hard we toiled, so we might as well just hang on and enjoy the ride...well, the parts of the ride that went in our favor. For every other time, there was endurance and complaint.

Still, we try and manage time. We set our watches. Check our calendars. We note the changing seasons and try to get a handle on this elusive fact of life. Often, we are frustrated by our inability to keep up with it. We fall behind and worry that we are running out of time. We fret that there is not enough of it in a day to get everything done that needs to be done...to what end, I am not sure...but that’s what I read on facebook (the Ecclesiastes of our time).

I don’t agree with blaming God for our time issues. It seems to me that there are choices we make and choices others make that cause life to feel frantic.

• The dog runs out of the house as you’re leaving for a meeting.
• Your child announces that she has to use the potty just before you leave for work.
• A classmate has an accident on his way to pick you up for school.
• Somebody get’s a cold and can’t make the performance.

BOOM! You are late. Behind. Trying to catch up with your day. I can’t imagine the Divine watching over us with a stopwatch and shouting, “Mark, Set, GO!” and then taking pleasure as we fail.

So what do we do with our feelings of not being able to get everything done? If we can’t blame God perhaps we can call on God to help us feel better about the time we are living in, no matter how unmanageable it may feel.

Try saying, “I don’t have enough time to get everything done today.” On a scale of 0-10, how true is that statement? Write that number down. It is a Subjective Unit of Distress (SUD) and you can use it after you pray to help identify how God’s spirit has been working through your concern. If you are new to prayer tapping, read this article about the basic recipe for tapping prayer.

When you are ready to pray, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray:

Karate Chop: I don’t have time for this prayer, God. You know it. I know it. I’m already late and starting to freak out. My SUD is at a …... and there is no way that this is going to help things. I’ll just get farther behind in my schedule. And I KNOW that Todd says, “it’s not God’s fault” but let me tell you, I’m not too sure about that tapper guy right about now. Alas, here goes (just so I can check it off my list of things to do today...)

Even though I don’t have enough time to get everything done today, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though this prayer is taking up my precious time, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I’ll never get everything done today, God completely loves me and accepts me.

Top of head: I don’t have enough time.

Eyebrow: I have so much to do.

Outer eye: The clock just keeps ticking.

Under eye: I’ll never get it all done.

Under nose: I just don’t have enough time

Under lip: tick tick tick tick

Collarbone: I can’t keep up with my schedule today.

Underarms: I’m feeling overwhelmed because I don’t have enough time in my day.

Wrists: I have SOOOOO much to do and SOOOOO little time to do it in.

Top of head: Even though I may not get it all done today, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: Maybe I could do some of the things on my list.

Outer eye: Maybe I can’t do anything on my list.

Under eye: I wonder which things are most important to do.

Under nose: I have so little time to do the things I need to do.

Under lip: I wonder what would happen if I did less?

Collarbone: The things I have to do are important.

Underarms: God took a day off.

Wrists: The things I have to do must be more important than what God has going on, and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Top of head: I have so much to do and I am deeply and totally cared for by God.

Eyebrow: I wonder if I could say “no” to some things today, and save them for tomorrow?

Outer eye: Even if I don’t do everything on my list today, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under eye: I could use some of my time to take care of myself and the people I love and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under nose: I could go shopping for tweezers and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under lip: I can choose to let some things go for today and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Collarbone: I may disappoint someone with my choices, and I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Underarm: Maybe I can forgive myself for the choices I make. Maybe I can forgive those who will be disappointed with my choices.

Wrists: I don’t have enough to time to get everything done today.

Top of head: Even though I don’t have enough time to get everything done today, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

Take a deep breath....and, "thank you God for taking your time to be with me today."

Check your SUD on “I don’t have enough to time to get everything done today.” How true is that statement? Has the number gone up? down? stayed the same? If it is not down to a 0-2, try and identify the issues that are keeping it at a higher number. Write those issues down, and then try and identify a person or event that each issue reminds you of. Give that person or event a SUD, and resume prayer tapping until you experience deep peace around, “I don’t have enough to time to get everything done today.” Chances are, you’ll have just enough time to do this.

Ecclesiastes didn’t take into account the random nature of living. Despite his wisdom, he missed the fact that sometimes life throws us curve balls that are not at all in keeping with God’s desires for us. The great thing is that with God’s help, we can discover time that goes beyond our perception of time, and in the process, experience a Holy peace for ourselves and others around us.

Peace,

todd

ps. Check out Thursday’s Thump when I address “ fear of change” with tapping prayer.