32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
35 Jesus wept.
36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” --John 11
Beliefs around death in the first century were as diverse as they are today. Some people believed that when a person died, he or she simply ceased to exist. End of story. Some people believed in a resurrection of the body...or the soul...a continuation of the story in some mysterious form. Some people believed that the dead were reborn into new bodies here on earth. Each belief system created unique philosophical responses to death, but the common thread that still strings these and other beliefs together is, grief.
Grief is our response to the death of someone. The response might be spiritual, or emotional, or physical. It might involve crying, or shutting down, or wailing, or withdrawing. It is often accompanied by sadness, anger, denial, emptiness, wistfulness, relief, guilt...or some combination of the aforementioned. Grief can be pretty clear cut or pretty complicated depending on the circumstances surrounding the death or our relationship with the one who has died.
To that end, prayer tapping on grief is a pretty personal thing. It invites the Holy to attend to some very intimate and labyrinthine issues.
- Perhaps we feel guilty about feeling relieved by someone’s death.
- Maybe we feel the person deserved to die and we are angry.
- Maybe the persons death caught us by surprise.
- Maybe there was violence around the persons death
- Maybe the person died as a result of an accident or war.
- The person might have committed suicide and we are left with a lot of questions and a lot of feelings that are all overwhelming our system at the same time.
- We might cry out like the sisters of Lazarus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
The good news is, God is here with us in our grief. Jesus weeps for the pain and confusion we are experiencing, and more, He is willing and able to attend to our hurting places by way of the Holy Spirit.
If you are grieving today, take a moment to write down the unique feelings you are experiencing around your loss.
Look at the list, and try assigning a SUD from 0-10 to each feeling, depending on how strongly you are enduring that feeling. If you are new to tapping prayer, check out my basic recipe here before proceeding.
Choose one feeling that is bothering you. You may want to choose something with a low number to begin with or, you may want to dive into the deep end of the pool and get right to the tough stuff. God will be there to attend to your concerns in any order you choose to focus the Holy’s healing love. Do what feels safest to you.
Once you have chosen a feeling around your grief, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!
Karate chop: My heart is heavy with grief, God. My soul is overwhelmed with feelings that are associated with...............’s death. I am overwhelmed with feelings about..................’s death. I’m going to try and focus on one feeling now, and when I am at peace with it, I may come to you again with another feeling about …............’s death. I may not. I’ve got a lot happening in me right now. I don’t know which way to turn, but I find myself turning to this tapping prayer today, and so I ask that you would bring me some healing through it. Even though I am feeling..............around my loss, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I feel............around..............death, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God. Even though I have this...........response to ….............death, I am held in God’s constant love and acceptance.
Top of head: I have this...........feeling.
Eyebrow: I am so.............about............death.
Outer eye: I feel............
Under eye: I have this overwhelming sense of..............
Under nose: I can’t shake this feeling of..................
Under lip: This deep …..........
Collarbone: I feel..............
Underarms: I am...............
Wrists: This …......feeling is keeping me from peace.
Top of head: Even though I feel.........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.
Eyebrow: I wonder if I’ll always feel this..... grief?
Outer eye: I think I can feel this........in my body.
Under eye: This overwhelming...........is getting in the way of feeling peace.
Under nose: I might have unfinished business with........that is contributing to this feeling of .............
Under lip: Even if I have unfinished business with..... that is contributing to this feeling of ...........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.
Collarbone: I am experiencing a SUD of …..around this aspect of my grief.
Wrists: I have so much grief effecting my life.
Top of head: Even though I have all this...........grief, I am deeply loved and held in God’s tender care.
Eyebrow: ..(name of person who died)..is deeply loved and held in God’s tender care.
Outer eye: Maybe I can forgive myself for feeling.......about..........’s death.
Under eye: Maybe I can forgive anyone who may have contributed to...........’s death.
Under nose: Even if I can forgive myself and everyone else who may have contributed to.......death, and even if I can forgive.........for dying, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.
Under lip: Maybe I don’t have to hold onto this...........grief forever.
Collarbone: I have this...............grief in my soul.
Wrists: I am feeling..........about …......death.
Top of head: Even though I am feeling.......about........death, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.
and take a deep breath...Thank you God for being with me in my feelings around..........’s death. Thank you for sending your healing spirit to attend to my needs. Amen.
When you are ready, test your intensity around the feeling you were asking help for. What is the SUD associated with it now? Higher? Lower? Same? Where has God brought you new insights into your feelings about.....’s death? If your SUD is lower, you are beginning to heal with God’s help. Keep prayer tapping on the issue until it gets to a 0-2, and then move on to another feeling on your list. If your SUD went up, check to see if the issue you began with might be gone, and you have moved to a more intense feeling. If so, apply the prayer to that issue until your SUD goes down to a 0-2. If your SUD stayed the same, drink a glass of water and then try the prayer again. Sometimes if we are dehydrated, our awareness of God’s spirit is diminished.
If it would be helpful to use this prayer one on one, please contact me at tapping.into.prayer.now@gmail.com and we can set up a time to work on your grief, together.
Peace,
Todd
