SURROGATE TAPPING PRAYER

Sometimes, you just can’t be there. We face all kinds of obstacles: time, geography, fatigue, emotional distance (although tapping prayer can clear that up), the inability or unwillingness of the other person to meet with us. Telephones, texting, the internet and Skype can help bridge the distance, but the reality is that there are times when you cannot meet face to face for prayer tapping, or anything else. Jesus knows your troubles.

5 When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. 6 “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.”

7 Jesus said to him, “Shall I come and heal him?”

8 The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. 9 For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”

10 When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. 11 I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. 12 But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

13 Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that moment.--Matthew 8

“Weeping and gnashing” aside (oh Matthew, you love that phrase...6 out of 7 uses in the Bible!) this is a story about what happens when we can’t be physically present to someone who needs tapping prayer. The early church wanted to make sure that everyone knew they were covered despite distances. They wanted to communicate that Jesus would be with them in their time of need, no matter the circumstances. It is a testament to the nature of God’s healing spirit, who can move through space and time at the speed of thought. Jesus’ intentional thought. Our intentional thought.

Surrogate tapping works similarly to individual or “face to face” tapping prayer...with a couple of necessary modifications:

Surrogate Tapping Prayer Recipe

1. You have become aware of an issue that someone away from you is facing. Perhaps you’ve had an opportunity to talk to them. Perhaps it comes as a vague prayer request. Gather as much information as you can from as many sources as possible (this is not gossiping folks, we are fact finding so that we can facilitate the most focused healing) and then decide on an issue to focus your prayer. In Jesus’ case above, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.”
2. Rate the issue on a scale of 1-10 regarding how upsetting the issue is to the person you are praying for. Remember, this is a Subjective Unit of Distress, so guessing is acceptable. Imagine how you might feel if you were living with the issue you are about to pray about. Think about the side issues that might be part of the stated issue. This is important, because later on it will help you assess the shifting of the Spirit, and if/where there are other areas around the issue that need healing. In Jesus’ case, the words “suffering terribly” would indicate a SUD of 9 or 10.
3. Offer a prayer of awareness and thanksgiving in anticipation of the healing like you would if the individual was with you.
4. Create a set up statement for your prayer,”Even though (name) has this specific problem...”
5. Create an affirming statement for your prayer. This statement makes room for God’s hope to enter into the equation: “....(name is deeply loved and completely accepted by God.”

• NOTE: because you are doing the praying, the affirming statement is based on your beliefs. If you do not believe that God deeply loves and completely accepts your friend, then modify the affirming statement as you would for yourself. Try, “ I can consider (name) fully loved and deeply accepted by God/the Holy/Jesus....” or “(Name) deserves to be deeply loved and completely accepted by the Holy.”

Focus your prayer on the target you are aiming at. Begin tapping through points on your body while saying this statement. Tap 5-10 times on each point.

Rinse and repeat, adding details that you know of or presume.

• . End with a deep breath and a word of thanks to the Holy for using you to  bring your friend’s soul toward peace.

9. Evaluate on a scale of 0-10 how the issue feels to you. Note any residual issues that might have come up during the tapping prayer. Ask God to guide you in tapping on those issues for your friend. It is amazing how similar we are at our core. I believe that is because we come from a common source of love in God. It is that connection that allows us compassion and hope for one another despite our individual journeys. Trust the Spirit to guide you toward words that will relieve the hurt your friend is experiencing.

If possible, contact your friend and let them know you prayed for them. Ask if they have felt any recent shifts in their spirit? Have they experienced any more peace than before you prayer tapped for them? Is there any other issue that they would like you to pray for?

Surrogate prayer is a bit less precise than local tapping prayer (we may guess wrong on some of our friend’s side issues), but it often yields great results of healing and an awareness of God’s compassionate presence in both the tapper and the beneficiary’s life. I have offered this type of prayer to people in my community. some of them have known ahead of time that I am praying for them. Others have only heard about my prayers, after the event they were dreading has passed. I gauge the efficacy of the prayers by asking questions specific to what I prayed for. “How did you feel right before your procedure?” “What was your sense of God’s presence when the scary thing happened?” “Tell me about your level of anxiety as you went through that experience...” I am in awe of how issues I prayed for specifically, are named by my friends in response to my questions. “I wasn’t alone.” “The doctor heard my concerns.” “I felt a peace I didn’t expect to feel.” The spirit has eased their anxious souls. ““Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that moment.” I hope you love being God’s partner in healing as much as I do.

TUESDAY TAP: prayer tapping on remorse

Have mercy on me, O God,

   according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion

   blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity

   and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,

   and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned

   and done what is evil in your sight;

so you are right in your verdict

   and justified when you judge

King David had raped Bathsheba and was planning to kill her husband. He had a lot to be sorry about. Personally, I think he was a bit delusional in thinking that the only sin he committed was against God. David used his power and authority to have sex with Bathsheba; manipulated a scene of war in order to destroy the love of her life; and claimed Bathsheba as a prize. It seems to me that David had a LOT to be sorry for.

Feeling remorseful toward God was a start, perhaps with some healing he would be able to see other aspects of the terrible things he did to Bathseba and her family.

Hopefully you haven’t gotten yourself in as deep a mess, but even if you have, it’s important to remember that God is still with you.  The combination of sorrow and guilt can really gnaw on a person.

But back to David and God. Note how despite the egregious nature of David’s sin (yeah, that’s the word for it) he believed that there was hope for him. He believed that somehow God could right his wrongs. He believed that the Holy would take action so that David could do better in the future and teach others the folly of his ways. David had faith that the love of God was/is bigger and stronger than the things that David did wrong. God could heal David, and in doing so, free him to bring that healing to others...perhaps even to Bathsheba.

I can remember feeling such remorse after missing an important conversation with my kids. I had chosen to do some work on my computer, or go to a meeting, both of which could have waited for a bit. I can remember the dejected look in their eyes. I can remember the love that forgave me, even if it didn’t understand why I didn’t have time when they really needed me. How come I had time for other people? Was the meeting about wallpapering a room in the church building more important than a conversation about how my child had been bullied at school?

My heart still hurts when I think of the many times I’ve made a bad choice. Perhaps you have similar hurts that go with different circumstances. Remorse is a heavy thing to live with, and, it can get in the way of a healthy relationship.

Let’s take a chance that despite the awful things he did to Bathsheba and her husband, David was right about God’s healing love.

Try to identify a particular event  that you are feeling remorseful about. See it. Smell it. Hear it. Taste it. Just for a moment. Just for long enough to get a Subjective Unit of Distress on the event (if you are new to tapping prayer, check out my basic recipe here to learn more about SUDs).  Write down your SUD and when you are ready, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!

Karate chop: Well, I messed up, God. I did something really terrible and now I am filled with remorse. I wish I could go back and do things differently. I wish I hadn’t caused the pain I caused with the actions I took. I feel awful. I feel overwhelmed by the awful and I can’t think of how I can move forward with my life. I need your help. I need your attention on this remorse I am feeling. Even though I am feeling remorse, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I caused someone else a lot of pain and discomfort, and I feel badly about that, I am gently held in the loving arms of God. Even though I feel terrible about what I did, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

Top of head: I am feeling remorseful.

Eyebrow: I feel so sad about what I did to...............

Outer eye: I am guilty of hurting..................

Under eye: I feel terrible about what I did.

Under nose: I really betrayed a trust.

Under lip: My relationship with.......is hurting because of what I did.

Collarbone: I broke..................................

Underarms: I feel awful about hurting.............

Wrists: This heavy feeling of remorse.

Top of head: Even though I am carrying this heavy feeling of remorse, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: Maybe I hurt..........because I was hurting.

Outer eye: Now we’re both hurting and I’m feeling guilty.

Under eye: I guess that didn’t work out the way I hoped it would

Under nose: Now I feel stupid, too.

Under lip: Maybe I thought...........deserved to be hurt.

Collarbone: Maybe..........did deserve to be hurt.

Underarms: I feel deep remorse for what I did to.............Maybe  I was wrong. I feel like I was wrong. If I was right I probably wouldn’t feel such remorse.

Wrists: Even if.............deserved it, I am feeling sad and sorry for what I did.

Top of head: Even if I am feeling sad and sorry for what I did, I am deeply loved and completely held in God’s constant care.

Eyebrow: I wonder how I would feel if...........had done what I did?

Outer eye: I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under eye: …........is deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under nose: I feel good about hurting................

Under lip: I feel terrible about hurting..........

Collarbone: I can see the hurt in......eyes. I can hear the pain in.......’s voice. I can feel my breathing change as I think about what I did to.................

Underarms: God knows where my remorse is blocking me from peace.

Wrists: I have this deep remorse for what I did.

Top of head: Even though I have this deep remorse for what I did, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

And take a deep breath...and thank you God for attending to the remorse that is keeping me from peace. Thank you for sending your spirit to heal the events in my life that keep me from moving forward in healthy ways. Amen.

Try thinking about the event that you felt remorseful about. What is its SUD now?  What new issues or aspects of the event are keeping you from feeling a SUD of 0-2? I believe that David was right about God’s desire to heal us when we mess up...no matter how big the mess! Keep bringing your issues to God until you feel that 0-2 peace. Once you are there, then try thinking about how you can begin to make amends and heal the relationship that has been hard to resolve. God will go with you in that healing, too. Count on it. Better yet, tap on it.

Peace,

todd

THURSDAY THUMP: Prayer tapping on change.

18 A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

19 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 20 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.’”

21 “All these I have kept since I was a boy,” he said.

22 When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

23 When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was very wealthy. 24 Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! 25 Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

26 Those who heard this asked, “Who then can be saved?”

27 Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”--Luke 18

I have heard this text taught as an admonition against wealth. I have seen ministers shake their head as a warning to parishioners who wouldn’t open their wallets a little wider. I have witnessed parishioners use this text to justify themselves because, after all, being poor allowed them to pass through the needle’s eye just fine.

I think this text is about something bigger. Something more universal. I believe that Jesus was talking about, “change.”

The young man had followed the rules. He had jumped through the hoops. He had lived a good life...and, he was richly rewarded for his good life (or so the thinking of the day would have concluded). But here’s where Jesus throws a fly into the ointment. Living well is not enough. Following the rules is not enough.

Drawing closer to God requires change.

Big change.

Sacrificial change.

That may explain the outcry of those who heard this story first hand. “WHO THEN CAN BE SAVED?”

I know that I struggle with changing. I wrestle with letting go of old patterns, old relationships, old truths that no longer serve my well being. Perhaps you have some areas in your life that you have a hard time changing, too.

I take heart in Jesus’ reply to our crisis of faith, ““What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

I believe that is our call to prayer today. I also believe that is where tapping prayer can set us free and allow us to pass through that elusive needle’s eye.

Try and identify one area of your life that needs changing. There may be many issues to choose from:

• My relationship with a friend is killing me.
• I hate my job.
• I can’t quit smoking/eating/hurting myself.
• I’ve never prayed like this before.

You probably have something different that is keeping you from feeling peace. Choose one issue where you are particularly stuck, and give that issue a SUD from 0-10. Use the statement: “I can’t stop............” and fill in the blank. If you are new to tapping prayer, read this article first so that you can become familiar with how it works.

When you are ready to let God start making the impossible possible, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray:  

Karate Chop: I’m sure this will come as no surprise to you, God, but I hate change...unless I’m in control of it. It’s uncomfortable to learn new patterns, be in new relationships, figure out new ways of doing things. I like the old ways...even if they’re killing me! Or hurting me. Or not serving my ability to be at peace with you and the people I love.

I need help.

I have a problem.

I’m addicted to the way I’ve always done things, and I need your intervention.

Even though I can’t stop..........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though I am addicted to................I am held in God’s loving arms and cared for all time by the Divine. Even though I don’t want to stop...........I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: I can’t stop........................

Outer eye: I have been....................for a long time. It’s what I’m comfortable with.

Under eye: Even if it makes me feel uncomfortable, I prefer to keep on............

Under nose: I can’t stop..................

Under lip: I can’t change.

Collarbone: Even though I can’t change I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Underarms: I can’t quit...............

Wrists: I am hooked on....................

Top of head: Even though I can’t change, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

Eyebrow: I wonder what I would lose if I changed?

Outer eye: Losing something sounds scary. I might be scared.

Under eye: I might lose my family or friends or job or...............

Under nose: I wonder how life would be different without................?

Under lip: What if the “different” wasn’t pleasing to me?

Collarbone: I like being in control.

Underarms: It feels like this......................is controlling me.

Wrists: I’m trapped by my inability/unwillingness to change.

Top of head: Even though I feel out of control, I am loved and respected and cherished by God.

Eyebrow: Maybe I could change.

Outer eye: Maybe God could control the things that I can’t control.

Under eye: I can never ever NEVER change.

Under nose: I can consider forgiving myself for becoming addicted to................

Under lip: I can consider forgiving anyone who has enabled me or is enabling me to continue..........................

Collarbone: Even though I can’t stop...................., God accepts me and calls me, “Beloved.”

Underarms: I have this habit.

Wrists: I am beloved by God. I can consider having compassion for myself.

Top of Head: Even though I can’t stop...................., I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

And take a deep breath.........I thank you God for being with me in the midst of my impossible addiction. I am grateful for the attention you have shown to my soul.

Check your SUD on the phrase: “I can’t stop.....................” Has anything shifted? Can you consider change in a new way? Are there any new issues attached to the original concern? What are the feelings connected to these new issues? If your SUD is at a 0-2 you are probably experiencing a new found peace, despite a “change” occurring within you! If your SUD is higher than a 2, try directing God’s healing toward the new issue, or add some new details to the above concern.

Jesus didn’t reject the young man who was struggling with change. He gave him a recipe for liberation and allowed him to try it when he was ready. Jesus had compassion for the challenge the young man was facing. Jesus has compassion for the revolution of our soul that is required of us, in order for us to draw closer to God.
Peace,
todd
Check in next week for the TUESDAY TAP: Prayer tapping on forgiveness.

THURSDAY THUMP: Prayer tapping on negative people in your life

9 Passing along, Jesus saw a man at his work collecting taxes. His name was Matthew. Jesus said, “Come along with me.” Matthew stood up and followed him.

10-11 Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew’s house with his close followers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them. When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus’ followers. “What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff?” --Matthew 9

Sometimes you just can’t get a break...even when you get a break! There is somebody nearby who wants to take the wind out of your sails. Poor Matthew wasn’t the most trusted guy in Bethlehem, but Jesus saw something in him that led him to dine with Matthew. Jesus saw the possibility for Matthew to draw closer to God. Maybe find some healing. Perhaps become a messenger of his Good News. Who knows, he might even write about his experiences with Jesus some day!

But the negative nellies who represented the established religion of the day couldn’t cut Matthew any slack. They couldn’t cut Jesus any slack either, presuming that they understood the situation at hand better than he did. The naysayers had a fit. They lit into Jesus’ followers. They complained, “What kind of example is this from your teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff?”

I’m sure those cruel words did wonders for Matthew’s self esteem, let alone his imagining himself as something better than he already was!

Everybody makes mistakes. Some are real doozies. Everybody has a bad day now and then. We usually don’t need people to remind us of our failures or our humanity. But there they are. On the telephone. In our email. On our news feed. Squawking through Twitter.

You blew it! You’ll never amount to anything. You’re a loser. You’ve always been a failure...you always will be.

If you have a negative person in your life, try and remember a time when their negativity really hurt you. Try and recall how their words or actions created a barrier to your growth as a human being. Assign that person or event a SUD of 0-10. If you don’t know what a SUD is, or you are new to tapping prayer, read my basic recipe by clicking here.

When you are ready to focus God’s healing spirit on the hurt that negative person has brought into your life, please take responsibility for your participation in tapping prayer, and let’s pray!

Karate Chop: Dear God, you know I’m human. You know I make mistakes. You’ve been there for all of them. Hoo boy. It’s a bit embarrassing, and to add insult to injury, I have this negative person in my life who keeps reminding me of how I messed up. I try to make amends. I try to move on. They keep me locked in that moment of humility. They label me “a hopeless case,” and they are getting other people to believe them. I’m starting to believe them. I need your help.

Even though this negative person calls me a hopeless case, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though this naysayer continues to hoist my past into full and humiliating view of the public, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by you. Even though this negative person is holding me back, I am completely loved by you...and I am completely accepted by you.

Top of head: I have this negative person in my life.

Eyebrow: This negative person.

Outer eye: This person who labels me a loser...a ne’er do well...riff raff.

Under eye: This person who pushes me down every time I try to get up and move on.

Under nose: This naysayer is really bugging me.

Under lip: This person’s negativity has started to get to me.

Collarbone: People are believing this person’s negative talk about me.

Underarm: I don’t know what to do. I feel trapped.

Wrists: I may be believing some of this negative person’s beliefs about me.

Top of Head: Even though this person is saying negative things about me, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: Even if I’m as bad as this person is saying, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Outer eye: I’m probably not THAT bad.

Under eye: This negative person is relentless.

Under nose: I don’t know why they are relentless.

Under lip: When I was a child and someone behaved like this s/he was called a “bully.”

Collarbone: This bully is deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Underarm: When a bully hurt someone when I was a child, I could find an adult to resolve the issue.

Wrists: Perhaps God can resolve this issue through this tapping prayer.

Top of head: I wonder what’s in it for me to continue my relationship with this person? Maybe I could change this relationship.

Eyebrow: Maybe I could put some limits on this relationship.

Outer eye: The negative person might get upset.

Under eye: I’m upset.

Under nose:I can consider letting go of this negativity.

Under lip: I can consider claiming my own truth.

Collarbone: I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Underarm: I can consider that I am free from this negative person’s remarks and behavior.

Wrists: I have this negative person in my life.

Top or Head: Even though I have this negative person in my life, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Take a deep breath...and thank God for being with you as an advocate and healer regarding this bully in your life. Check your SUD and determine if the spirit has shifted any when you think about this naysayer who has been bringing you down. If there are any new issues that came up while you were praying, write those down, give them a SUD, and try prayer tapping on those issues.

When Jesus heard the naysayers complaining about Matthew, he let them know that they had it all wrong. He affirmed that Matthew was on the right track and that it was the religious leaders who had some “‘splaining to do.”

Peace,

todd

ps. Check out next week’s Tuesday Tap: prayer tapping on not having enough time to do everything.

Maundy Thursday tapping on being betrayed

19 And Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

20 In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.[a] 21 But the hand of him who is going to betray me is with mine on the table. 22 The Son of Man will go as it has been decreed. But woe to that man who betrays him!” 23 They began to question among themselves which of them it might be who would do this.

--Luke 22: 19-23 (Message)

Sometimes you know it’s coming. Sometimes you don’t. Either way, when we are betrayed by someone we care about, it hurts. Deeply. It feels like a tearing or breaking of our soul. Jesus must have been experiencing something of that hurt. The disappointment. The anger. The frustration. The wondering if he was to blame...or, if not, why his friend would do this terrible thing to him?

As readers of the story, we get a little glimpse into Judas’ motivation, but in our lives, that doesn’t always happen. We are left holding the bag of questions and hurt. It’s a lousy bag to hold.

God wants to help us let go of that bag. The Holy is pulling for us to find peace, even around the acts of betrayal that we have endured.

Are you holding a bag of betrayal? What is the SUD attached to that particular bag? If you aren’t sure what a SUD is, check out my basic recipe here. When you’re ready, please take responsibility for your participation in this prayer, and let’s pray...

God, it must have been so hard to know that your friend was going to betray you. Even after you announced that he was going to do it! I get it. I’m in that place, too. I have been betrayed and I need some peace around that loss in my life.

Karate Chop: Even though I have been betrayed, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God. Even though someone I trusted has hurt me, my God has got my back. Even though I am holding this bag of betrayal, I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

Top of Head: This bag of betrayal.

Eyebrow: It’s so heavy.

Outer eye: It hurts so much.

Under eye: I trusted that person and I was betrayed.

Under nose: It’s hard to trust now, because if a close friend could do that to me, why not someone who doesn’t care about me?

Under lip: I’m holding this betrayal.

Collarbone: I’m holding this anger.

Underarm: I’m holding this sadness.

Wrists: All this betrayal.

Top of head: Even though I’m holding this bag of betrayal, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Eyebrow: I wonder if I could hand this bag off to God?

Outer eye: God could probably handle it better than I could.

Under eye: I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Under nose: Maybe s/he had a reason for betraying me.

Under lip: That doesn’t mean it was right to do.

Collarbone: I can consider forgiving my friend for betraying me.

Underarm: I can consider forgiving myself for being betrayed.

Wrists: Even if I let go of all this betrayal, I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God.

Top of Head: Even though I have this bag of betrayal, I am extraordinarily loved and accepted by God. I am given God’s spirit of healing. I am given God’s spirit of grace. I am given God’s spirit to move on with my life in peace.

Eyebrow: I have this peace. I have God’s peace.

Take a deep breath...and then check your SUD around being betrayed. You may have to do a couple of rounds on the problem of the betrayal. Remember that the more specific you are with the language around a particular act of betrayal you experienced, the more effective God’s spirit will travel your holy pathways and bring you peace. If while you are praying you feel your SUD rise, go back to whatever the particular issue was that caused that spike, and use prayer tapping to direct God’s healing on that concern.

May you find peace even in the midst of those who betray you.

--todd
ps. Next blog will be on Good Friday re: death of a loved one.