When I was 9...or maybe 12, I believed in magic snowflakes. I had cut them out a few years before and had hung them in the living room windows of our second floor apartment, and that night we had 6” of snow. Enough to cancel school for the day. Enough so that my brother and I could go sliding with our friends in the lots at the end of our street. Enough so we could get out of the house for the day and play and laugh and get soaked.
Every time I taped the magic snowflakes to those windows, we would get snow...and so I believed in them.
One December (after several seasons of success with the magic snowflakes which I stored in my sock drawer during the off season) my mother asked me why I was so intent on hanging “those wrinkly things” on the living room windows? “You’re just going to make a mess.” she said.
“The tape won’t come off and we’ll have to take a razor to the windows.” she said.
“But they’re magic” I said.
“They’re what?” she said.
“They’re magic” I said, and then proceeded to explain my theory of the “magic snowflakes.”
“That’s stupid” she said.
“Grow up” she said.
“What a ridiculous idea” she said, as she took my magic snowflakes and threw them away.
Next week I am introducing a group of clergy to “tapping prayer.” As people began saying, “yes” to my invitation I felt myself growing more and more anxious. “What if they thought I was stupid?” “What if they scoffed at this new way of praying that I have seen work in dozens of situations?” “What if they discounted this really cool thing that I was excited to tell them about?”
“What if they said, ‘Grow up’ and tossed my wrinkly presentation in the trash?”
I took those issues to God and prayer tapped on them using the basic recipe:
Even though I have this magic snowflake presentation....I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.
Even though Mom took my snowflakes away.
Even though Mom said, "stupid" and "grow up" and "what a ridiculous idea" That look on her face...that look of disgust and scorn and ridicule on Mom's face. I felt so defeated...I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.
Even though this tapping prayer might be considered "flaky" by some people...I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.
I forgive those who took away my snowflakes in the past.
I forgive myself for letting go of the magic/the mystery for awhile, because I was afraid to be dismissed.
I let go of the expectation that my "magic" will be everyone's "magic".
It's OK to have hope...It's OK to dream dreams...and I've seen this tapping prayer hope work, so I know it's more than a dream...I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God...which is a pretty cool mystery unto itself.
And not so ridiculous...maybe a little flaky...but not so stupid.
And not something to throw away.
Even though I have this magic snowflake presentation...I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.
After 4 rounds, my anxiety went from a 9 to a 1. I am looking forward to sharing tapping prayer with my colleagues next week. A few of the people who couldn't make that meeting asked if I would schedule another time to show them this new way of praying. I think it will be a pretty cool time.
I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God...magic snowflakes and all.