Tuesday, August 14, 2012


This morning I will go public to my peers regarding "tapping prayer." I will share a brief overview of my hybrid version of the Basic Recipe for tapping, and then we'll get down to business. I have worked with many people using this hybrid, and it has yielded very good results. The people I have worked with have experienced peace, and confidence, and a new perspective thanks to the healing work of the Holy coursing through their souls and focusing on their problems.

Ironically, I have not had as much success with my own issues. Here and there I have been able to bring 8's down to 1's or 2's...but after a bit the numbers start inching upward again. I have tapped and prayed on many issues of abuse that may have been the catalyst of this kink in my spiritual hose, but almost always, the numbers come back up. This has not been true for others I work with, so I got to wondering about why I was having this road block.

When I prayer tap, I use the set up phrase: "Even though.....I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God." I believe that phrase to be true. When I was called into ministry I distinctly heard God's voice say, "Be mine." to me. It was a moment of complete and utter acceptance. And it made me happy. And it made me scared. And I wrote that combo of feelings off as a "holy tremor" or "being overwhelmed in the presence of God." Today I'm not so sure about that.

As I prepared myself for today's meeting, I found myself growing more and more anxious. I attended to the various issues that were presenting themselves, went deeper, envisioned the meeting...I was being thorough. I experienced brief relief from my 7's of anxiety...and then it would start creeping up again, to the point where I felt like I was being choked. "When have I felt that before?" I wondered.

When I was younger, my father was very abusive to me. He beat me and sexually abused me. "Accepted" meant "the calm before the storm" or, "the calm right after the storm." Often times that storm involved me gasping for air. AHA!

My set up phrase was sabotaging me! "...completely accepted..." meant, "no matter what, Dad will get you in the end." "Dad will destroy your joy; your peace; your sense of safety." Fortunately, Dad is not God. Dad is not Holy. God can heal, even screwed up wiring around being accepted.

Even though I feel unsafe with being accepted, I can feel safe being accepted by God because I am deeply loved.
God will not hurt me.
God desires to heal me.
God desires for me to feel peace.
God's acceptance is not Dad's acceptance.
God's acceptance is OK.
Even though I have trouble breathing when I am completely accepted by God, I am deeply loved.

I am breathing easier now. The next few hours will tell me if there is something else to explore. 

I am deeply loved...and you are, too. Sometimes it takes a new understanding of that love in order to accept it.


1 comment:

  1. Mission accomplished! 5 clergy types gathered and heard the story, test drove the hybrid, and even noted some shifts of the Spirit on various issues. A great observation was made: it is important to let God do the work and make the work about God, not us. We do not want to pressure people into healing (or pleasing us by pretending to heal), but we can give folks the space and the tools they need to let the Holy do what the Holy desires to do...make us whole. I love being a witness to that kind of action. It does good things for my relationship with God. It gives me hope.