Friday, August 17, 2012

PUT ME IN COACH

Imagine that you are assistant coach of the Boston Bruins (pick your own team if the Bruins don't work for you...although I can't imagine why they wouldn't!). The game is going along ok, although at the moment your opponents seem to have the upper hand (or stick, as the case may be). 
Suddenly, a new player (X) appears on your bench. This player has a reputation of great all around stick handling on offense or defense. This player can set up the shots for another player or take the shot and score...every time.
X shuffles over to you and says, "Put me in coach. I'm ready to play." Awesome! The only problem is, you and the coach can't quite decide where to play this lightning on ice. The right wing is looking a little ragged, so maybe that's the problem. Or maybe your center needs some shoring up. It's kind of hard to tell because the action is happening fast. The two of you confer and decide that the first thing that needs to happen is "stop the other team's offense" You put your player in and 'boom!' the ice heats up and the opposition rarely gets to touch the puck, let alone score. Your player is stealing the puck, passing with accuracy, never going off sides, always hitting their mark. This is great...but you are still down on the scoreboard. Even if your player continues to keep the puck away from the opponents sticks, you are still in the hole.
The other players on your team are watching the new player, and they are inspired. They begin to play better hockey than the Bruins have seen since Bobby Orr and Phil Esposito! They are razzling and dazzling...but still not change in the score. You confer with the coach and decide, maybe you need to shift this gifted player to another position. Perhaps if player X moved into offense, you could change the score. You call X over, (not a bead of sweat on X's brow...)and you say, "We're moving you to offense. We need a big score here or we'll lose the game." X smiles and says, "Put me in coach, I'm ready to play." X moves into position, gets the puck from one  of the newly inspired team mates, moves down the ice toward the opposing goal, fakes out the defense, sets, shoots, scores! The crowd goes wild...the team goes wild...but the game isn't over. The score is tied. That is not a win and player X loves to win! 
"Hey coach," player X says while skating by you, "I haven't gotten a chance to play goal yet. Put me in coach, I'm ready to play!"
You look at the coach and decide on the spot, "Why not?!" The team is on fire. They are ready to respond to the challenge. Nothing is going to get by X, even if the defense comes up short. Let's get the focus on the goal.

The puck is at center ice. Face off. The opposition gets control of the puck and send it down toward your goalie. X ably defends the goal and looks around to the team. The Bruins are ready. X passes to the left wing. Left wing takes it up the ice, crosses the blue line, passes to right wing, to center, to left wing, to center, shoots, SCORE! THE BRUINS WIN! THE GAME IS OVER!  THE TEAM PILES ON TO X! THE CROWD CHEERS AND WHIPS THEIR SHIRTS AROUND OVER THEIR HEADS! You and the coach high five in victory as X pulls out of the pile and skates over to your box.

"Hey coach, when's the next game? I'm ready to play."

Moral of this story: Tapping Prayer is a team effort. It may take some shifting around of the Spirit to finally discover which position will win the game, but God is always ready to play and bring us healing peace.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

COMPLETELY ACCEPTED

This morning I will go public to my peers regarding "tapping prayer." I will share a brief overview of my hybrid version of the Basic Recipe for tapping, and then we'll get down to business. I have worked with many people using this hybrid, and it has yielded very good results. The people I have worked with have experienced peace, and confidence, and a new perspective thanks to the healing work of the Holy coursing through their souls and focusing on their problems.

Ironically, I have not had as much success with my own issues. Here and there I have been able to bring 8's down to 1's or 2's...but after a bit the numbers start inching upward again. I have tapped and prayed on many issues of abuse that may have been the catalyst of this kink in my spiritual hose, but almost always, the numbers come back up. This has not been true for others I work with, so I got to wondering about why I was having this road block.

When I prayer tap, I use the set up phrase: "Even though.....I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God." I believe that phrase to be true. When I was called into ministry I distinctly heard God's voice say, "Be mine." to me. It was a moment of complete and utter acceptance. And it made me happy. And it made me scared. And I wrote that combo of feelings off as a "holy tremor" or "being overwhelmed in the presence of God." Today I'm not so sure about that.

As I prepared myself for today's meeting, I found myself growing more and more anxious. I attended to the various issues that were presenting themselves, went deeper, envisioned the meeting...I was being thorough. I experienced brief relief from my 7's of anxiety...and then it would start creeping up again, to the point where I felt like I was being choked. "When have I felt that before?" I wondered.

When I was younger, my father was very abusive to me. He beat me and sexually abused me. "Accepted" meant "the calm before the storm" or, "the calm right after the storm." Often times that storm involved me gasping for air. AHA!

My set up phrase was sabotaging me! "...completely accepted..." meant, "no matter what, Dad will get you in the end." "Dad will destroy your joy; your peace; your sense of safety." Fortunately, Dad is not God. Dad is not Holy. God can heal, even screwed up wiring around being accepted.

Even though I feel unsafe with being accepted, I can feel safe being accepted by God because I am deeply loved.
God will not hurt me.
God desires to heal me.
God desires for me to feel peace.
God's acceptance is not Dad's acceptance.
God's acceptance is OK.
Even though I have trouble breathing when I am completely accepted by God, I am deeply loved.

I am breathing easier now. The next few hours will tell me if there is something else to explore. 

I am deeply loved...and you are, too. Sometimes it takes a new understanding of that love in order to accept it.

Peace,
todd



Wednesday, August 8, 2012

MAGIC SNOWFLAKES

When I was 9...or maybe 12, I believed in magic snowflakes. I had cut them out a few years before and had hung them in the living room windows of our second floor apartment, and that night we had 6” of snow. Enough to cancel school for the day. Enough so that my brother and I could go sliding with our friends in the lots at the end of our street. Enough so we could get out of the house for the day and play and laugh and get soaked.
Every time I taped the magic snowflakes to those windows, we would get snow...and so I believed in them.
One December (after several seasons of success with the magic snowflakes which I stored in my sock drawer during the off season) my mother asked me why I was so intent on hanging “those wrinkly things” on the living room windows? “You’re just going to make a mess.” she said.
“The tape won’t come off and we’ll have to take a razor to the windows.” she said.
“But they’re magic” I said.
“They’re what?” she said.
“They’re magic” I said, and then proceeded to explain my theory of the “magic snowflakes.”
“That’s stupid” she said.
“Grow up” she said.
“What a ridiculous idea” she said, as she took my magic snowflakes and threw them away.

Next week I am introducing a group of clergy to “tapping prayer.” As people began saying, “yes” to my invitation I felt myself growing more and more anxious. “What if they thought I was stupid?” “What if they scoffed at this new way of praying that I have seen work in dozens of situations?” “What if they discounted this really cool thing that I was excited to tell them about?”
“What if they said, ‘Grow up’ and tossed my wrinkly presentation in the trash?”

I took those issues to God and prayer tapped on them using the basic recipe:

Even though I have this magic snowflake presentation....I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

Even though Mom took my snowflakes away.
Even though Mom said, "stupid" and "grow up" and "what a ridiculous idea" That look on her face...that look of disgust and scorn and ridicule on Mom's face. I felt so defeated...I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.
Even though this tapping prayer might be considered "flaky" by some people...I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.
I forgive those who took away my snowflakes in the past.
I forgive myself for letting go of the magic/the mystery for awhile, because I was afraid to be dismissed.
I let go of the expectation that my "magic" will be everyone's "magic".

It's OK to have hope...It's OK to dream dreams...and I've seen this tapping prayer hope work, so I know it's more than a dream...I am deeply loved and completely accepted by God...which is a pretty cool mystery unto itself.
And not so ridiculous...maybe a little flaky...but not so stupid.
And not something to throw away.
Even though I have this magic snowflake presentation...I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God.

After 4 rounds, my anxiety went from a 9 to a 1. I am looking forward to sharing tapping prayer with my colleagues next week. A few of the people who couldn't make that meeting asked if I would schedule another time to show them this new way of praying. I think it will be a pretty cool time.


I am completely loved and deeply accepted by God...magic snowflakes and all.

Peace,
todd